The Life and Times of Paul Daniels

Rumours

2012-01-22T10:29:00.000-08:00

The media caught up with the story of the accident over the last two days and, as was to be expected, changed the truth somewhat, seeking far more dramatic descriptions than the story I told in my blog.

I thought I had best bring you all up to date with the situation. Yes, it was awful but turned out to be better than I thought it was going to be. The story about my forefinger being sewn back on was a bit of an exaggeration. True, the saw did rip through the top knuckle area of my left forefinger but it never came right off and it is already healing up. The little finger of the left hand has a tiny bit missing from the tip but it never touched the nail. The middle finger is untouched. The worst bit is that I have lost the top section, the part that had the nail on it, of my ring finger.

That means that I will have to adjust and re-learn some of the moves of which audiences should be unaware. I can do that. Until the bandage comes off it I won't know how it affects the general handling of props. More adjustment may be needed.

All that aside, I have been back in the workshop but it is awkward working with one and a half hands. It's still awkward to type, and I can't get used to my finger not hitting the e, d or c. I will have to have a pointy bit stuck on the end.

The comments on here, Twitter and Facebook have been, in the main, supportive and are really appreciated. Sadly it will be impossible to answer them all. Magicians that you won't know from all over the world have been very kind to me and it was great to hear from two you will know, Penn and Teller.

What else? Debbie and I are going to be appearing on the TV game show, Pointless (which seems appropriate, and on the Adonia, a cruise ship (am I pushing my luck in the light of the recent disaster?) Oh yes... with a bit of luck I will soon be able to add some Irish venues to the Spring Tour date list. Final negotiations are now taking place.

Best of Wishes to you all.

Seven Days of Frustration

2012-01-15T01:37:00.000-08:00

It's seven days since my last blog and I never expected and can't believe how many nice and caring comments I have had on here, Twitter, emails, phone calls and Facebook. It has been amazing and heartwarming. I can only say a huge 'thank you' to all of you.

The only bad comments were on the online pages of the Sun newspaper. I feel quite proud that the Sun readers don't like me.... :)

S, how has it been? Well, I never realised how restricting using one and a half hands would be. Add that to not being allowed to drive (though I am sure I could) and you have one frustrated impatient conjurer sitting here.

During the week the administering angels (you call them nurses) changed the dressings, announced that it was all going very well and suggested some finger exercises. They then bound my fingers up again so tightly I couldn't do the exercises. :)

Tomorrow I will see Mr Sammut, genius surgeon, again and he will decide whether there is any more work to be done. Fingers crossed (on my right hand) that the news will be good.

On a different tack, pun intended, Debbie drove me over to the boat show. I know that some government geezer decided it would be a good idea to develop the docklands area with the 'Dome', 'Excel', etc... but for most of the nation it's damn difficult to get there.

We only live on the opposite side of London but it took over two hours to get there and over four hours to get back. Birmingham would have been quicker and a LOT more central for the majority of the country.

The biggest disappointment was how few boats were on show. In previous shows there have been boats at all prices. Not this time I'm afraid, so it's back to searching online.

That's about it really, apart from plotting and planning the coming tour. The sooner the better for me!

The Little Blog of Horrors

2012-01-07T14:05:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year. My New Year Resolution was to try to keep more in touch with friends and family, on and off line. The best laid plans...

Mostly I am writing this to let you know what really happened and not what somw journalist will create. What is here is not embellished but let it be a warning.

January 1st morning Debbie went off to Radio Berkshire and I tidied up my big shed. I decided to make a 'sled' for my table saw to make it safer. Remember that! Safer!

I already had most of the pieces cut and started to cut a 'fiddly bit'. If you remember the sun was shining and streaming through the shed windows. VERY quickly and without any warning the piece of timber seemed to leap and pulled my left hand fingers into the teeth of the circular saw.

Without any conscious thought on my part my right hand hit the stop button and I rammed my left hand into the chest of my coat and somehow ran to the car, started it and set off for Henley. I must have looked a weird site doubled over with my face all screwed up from the pain and, I admit it, the pain.

In Henley I jumped out of the car and scared the hell out of the young woman driving the car in front asking her to move over at the lights. I can remember that I saw the lights go to green and I dived back into my car, mounted the pavement and went round her on the left to get on the road to Townlands Hospital where I dumped my car in the entrance and staggered into the front door.

They were brilliant 'cos I had no idea what had been damaged or lost or where I was or anything.

My head was full of the pain and the possible end of the magic.

After reducing the pain they got me into an ambulance and we went off at high speed for a hospital near Slough. Again a great staff and I was able to let Debbie know where I was. She came. I should work harder at not upsetting her. I could hear phrases and words around me... 'bone is shattered' 'ground up' 'nail gone' 'might be able to save the finger'. OMG... MIGHT...

A 'long-timer' went off on a phone around to try to get a hand specialist... difficult on New Year's Day. One was in Switzerland... could get back for Thursday... he found one that would come over from Bristol and open the Hand Clinic especially. Two nursing staff turned out as well.

According to other doctors I got lucky getting him. They say he is the best. I went for the operation and gave permission for him to do whatever was necessary.

Despite the warning I was not expecting the pain I got from mr raised arm being injected in the left armpit and apparently I questioned his parents' marital status. This numbed my fingers completely and they went to work. I concentrated on talking to the nurse to my right and tried to ignore my brain worrying about whether he was going to remove my finger, my hand, my arm. That's not as daft as it sounds 'cos I once had a poisoned knuckle on that hand and was told that if they had operated later I ran a risk of the poison spreading and losing the arm.

I kept up some banter and tried not listen to their techie talk about bones and stuff. It seemed to take forever until he asked if I would like to see what he had done. I'm a chicken when it comes to that sort of thing so I said no but couldn't stop myself glancing to the left. MY ARM WASN'T THERE!!! It was to my left, on the table, still attached but when they numb the nerve your brain remembers the last position... in my case up in the air. Not the best moment in my life.

All bandaged up I was soon on my way home and I have had one check up since. Bad moments recur, the worst being full shock state one night which turned me into a gibbering wreck as I relived the moment it happened. This has given me a fuller understanding of shock. It's not nice.

As I am a touch typist (I hate touch screens) getting any form of communication out there has not been easy and doing this blog has taken ages.

Tuesday will tell me more about what I will be able to do. I hope it will be the majority of what I did before, fingers crossed (oops... bad phrase)

BIg Lesson... don't take short cuts with power tools.... you will finish up with bigger cuts.

The Random Blog

2011-12-11T02:06:00.000-08:00

It's been a month. I can't believe it but it's been a month since I was sitting here writing bits and bobs.

Excuses? None. Reasons? Well.... I have been busy and I do mean busy. I thought that as the season of shows came to an end, and I mean the Autumn tour, life would ease off and I could relax.

What happened? My world got busier. Father Christmas needed some tricks for his shows around London, Aladdin needed a couple of flying carpets, and then I found out that crews and actors don't 'nurse' magic props like we magicians do so repairs had to be done as well.

In the midst I managed to find time to nip over to Dublin with Debbie to talk to the Irish Society of Magicians and then do a mini show for them. Why is it that every time we go to Dublin we have SUCH a good time. This time we became tourists and went on one of those open topped buses on a freezing cold morning. You are supposed to hop on and hop off on the tour but the driver was so funny we never got off.... 'Coming up on the right is a memorial to the famous Molly Malone who has a reputation for being naughty but not many people realise she was celibate. Yes indeed... she used to 'sell a bit' on that corner and 'sell a bit' on that street over there.....' 'We are now approaching the Irish Disneyland.... sometimes called the Parliament...'

That same evening we went to see the pantomime at the Gaiety Theatre. You don't often get to see Robinson Crusoe as a panto but the cast made it fly along. I don't think I have ever seen a panto with such energy and speed. Frank Kelly, the great Irish actor best known over here for playing the drunk priest in Father Ted, and who played the Dame in the Gaiety for 7 years, was sitting a couple of rows behind us.... 'Well now Paul, you wouldn't want to be over 25 years old and be in this panto would ya?'

We had to fly back the next morning :( because I had to get to the Indigo Theatre which is in the O2. The O2, erected in the worst place in the world to get to easily, came as a bit surprise to me because on the outside it looks so scruffy and more like a building site than an entertainment venue. Inside it's a different story and it was a pleasure to spend time on and off stage with Penn and Teller. I interviewed them, the audience threw questions at them, and they performed some of their classic routines. Tomorrow night we are taking Teller to see his first pantomime. Quite what he will think of it is anyone's guess.

Life is slowly settling down it would seem but I am spending time in the workshop putting ideas into reality for the Spring Tour and doing private shows in the evenings. Those venues vary widely and you never know what the performance conditions are going to be.

Wish me luck.................. and thank for being patient!

A Few Days Off

2011-11-09T14:33:00.000-08:00

Hurray... a few days off BUT that does not mean no work, oh dear me no. There are props to be made and today I cut and sanded all the timber that will go into making very large Christmas Crackers for three Father Christmas shows that will be needing them for rehearsal the week after next.

If all goes well I will prime them, hinge them, and paint/decorate them tomorrow and that will leave clear on Friday to make another flying carpet for another Aladdin pantomime.

At the same time my rabbit production table needs servicing and Father Christmas also needs three floating 'worlds'... don't ask, but don't I have the weirdest of jobs?

So, all the time I am working away in the shed, I listen to the news and the journalists must be delirious that they don't have to work at finding news. Greece, Greece, Greece, Italy, more Greece, more Italy... and none of the coverage makes any sense at all to common mortals.

For example, today I heard that Italy can't get anybody to lend them money 'cos the interest rates are too high and next year they need to borrow 300 odd BILLION. OK, but why doesn't anyone tell me what it is for? Why doesn't anyone tell me WHO is lending the money? Why doesn't anyone tell me what would happen if they DIDN'T borrow it? And what looney thinks they are entitled to that money to spend on stuff they patently cannot afford?

Woah Daniels. Doesn't the same thing apply to Greece? Would the Greek world of the man on the street be SO changed if they said Sorry to whoever they borrowed it from and couldn't pay ANY of it back... not the interest, not the capital sum, nothing. It's not REAL money anyway, is it? Nobody went to Greece with all those billions in suitcases.... it's all on computers, nowhere else.

Another thing boggles me. WE are in debt. The last government borrowed FAR more than we were able to pay back and WE are in debt BUT I read that we are going to most likely lend money to Greece, possibly then Italy, and some countries in Africa. Why? WE are in debt and we are now reducing our debt at an amazing rate. I heard a foreigner today saying that we are rapidly becoming the pattern that other countries are trying to emulate... but if we lend money doesn't that increase our debt, or reduce our chances of paying off our debt? Unless, as I said earlier, it's not REAL money and the whole damn stupid business is organised bollocks.

So whilst they are all playing their silly games David Batty and his partner Rebecca have worked real magic on our online shop at www.magicandfancydress.com. You can now spend many a happy hour reading about the 8,000 tricks we have on offer... I even bought a trick off myself today, the site is that good. :)

Busy Times

2011-10-30T03:00:00.000-07:00

I simply cannot believe that it is almost a month since I last scribbled on here. My days and nights are so full that they zip by without me noticing the passing of time. That's good, I guess.

The tour of Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow has been successful, thank goodness, and it has been interesting to get 'reviews' not so much from the standard media, but now they come from 'the people' on Twitter and Facebook. To date all rave reviews apart from one, who wanted more magic and less comedy! It is supposed to be a comedy show but now I am trying to find a way to maintain that level but somehow work more magic into the show for when it goes out in the Spring.

I know, that may sound strange to give myself that amount of work for one 'reviewer' but I think all performers should take notice of ALL criticism and give it some serious thought.

The leaves have now almost all gone from the broad leaf trees. The vast variety of water birds have been traipsing up and down the garden stealing the fallen apples. We got two edible, very edible, peaches of the new tree that I planted earlier in the year. Such joy from such simple things.

Our rabbits have been enjoying the luxury of the tiled rear end of the car that I built for them. Quite mad I know but they are such funny characters they deserve the best.

Other work is pouring in which I find amazing, but for which I am grateful, and the Wigan shop and the online www.magicandfancydress.com are doing a lot more business. The latter is going to burst, nay, explode, with a VAST range of magic tricks in one or two weeks. So much work is being done on that site. It's a real web site and not a cobweb site.

The work on the Flying Carpets I hire to pantomimes is forging ahead and also the tricks for the coming Father Christmas shows is coming along in a fine way. I find it interesting to try to create really good magic tricks that are going to be performed by actors and not by trained magicians. It's a good challenge and I do enjoy those.

As I type Debbie is coming out of the computer speakers on her Radio Berkshire programme. How times have changed and now people all over the world tune in to hear her on the internet.

Speaking of time, it is moving on and I have to pack the car for the show tonight. Back soon (I hope!)

The Current Show

2011-10-09T00:47:00.000-07:00

In the midst of all the driving north south east and west somehow we are managing to do a show in a different venue most nights. As I wrote last time, the venue decides the format of the show but some folks want to know what is in the show because they can't make it for various reasons.

The 'reason' that really gets to me is the 'I can't afford it' line from people who have previously told me they have been to a pub, or a football match and so on... That means they CAN afford it and it far better value for money, honest, and that isn't conceit, it's the opinion of all those who talk to us after a performance or write on Twitter and Facebook.

Let's take last night's show as an 'average' show...

Debbie and I walk on and do a tiny greeting to the audience before she exits and I do my version of a trick called 6 Card Repeat. This is a good opening routine because it gets the audience involved and shouting before I exit and Debbie enters to do a version of Gypsy Thread... (a broken and restored routine)

I come back on, get a girl from the audience and levitate her. I have done this for years but two shows back came up with a new gag and it makes the audience laugh. When this is over I invite her to stay whilst I demonstrate a colour changing handkerchief before walking her all round and through a large paper covered box.

Martin bursts out of this box and goes into his act with lots of gags and a milk funnel routine to close the first half.

Interval

I explain why the logo of magic is a rabbit from a hat and I do a crazy way to produce a rabbit before vanishing her and as I exit Debbie re-enters and does a trick called Multum in Parvo, with milk and glasses.

I come back on and do what is known in the trade as 'Act as Known' which takes up the rest of the second half. We all take a bow and then go out to the foyer to sign autographs whilst Gareth, our touring Stage Manager, loads up the van and we all head for bed, ready to be on the road the next morning for the next town.

Writing this cold description of tricks in no way tells how funny this show has become and a lot of the gags are dependent upon the various members of the audience who join us on stage. We all enjoy being on stage and I think that feeling is infectious.

Now I have a two night break from the tour but I have to fly out to Switzerland to do a private show. Ah, the glamour of show business

Touring Notes

2011-09-26T01:13:00.001-07:00

This tour, like all the others, never should let the audience know of the troubles and obstacles that we face before that curtain rises. They should just be entertained; that's our job.

So what does it entail? Well, generally we all have to get up early and deal with the day to day stuff of emails, tweets and Facebook, the household bills and general inquiries, just like any else. Debbie lays out and bags up the clothes we will be needing in the coming days, which varies of course. I will be loading any chargers, laptops, phones, addresses into the satnav, making sure the rabbits are happy.

Gareth will be driving the van quite early most days off to the venue and off loading it into the theatre. Martin and Andi will be doing more or less the same as us and we all get to the venue somewhere between 2pm and 4pm.

Decisions Decisions.... Does the venue have front curtains (House Tabs), front cloth ( a few feet upstage), centre stage tabs (curtains to you), is the rear stage tab a star cloth (twinkly lights) and so on? Is there access to the audience with steps up to the stage? Is there a backstage area where we can erect the rabbit pen or do they get their own room or are they in my dressing room?

Dependent upon the answers to all of those questions we decide upon the running order of the show because some places, for example, we can't get an illusion onto the stage without the 'look' of getting it there being ugly.

When we know which bits we can do the theatre lighting man features the various areas of the stage we will be using during our various appearances. At the same time the theatre sound man is connecting our laptop system to his theatre system and then the music and microphones cues are all checked for volume and so on.

Martin, Debbie and I are putting our tricks together and in order and finding a space to grab a sandwich and a cuppa, usually provided by the theatre, before getting dressed up for the show.

I then do a final walk around everything to make sure that nothing has been forgotten and we wait for 'clearance', which is when the Front of House staff call through to the Stage Manager (Gareth) to say that the audience are in and seated. He immediately checks with me, dims the audience lighting, brings up a backstage microphone to announce mobile phones must be off and photography and video are not allowed, cues my walk on music and away we go.

This tour is proving to be funny and the audiences' comments have been very complimentary... Stuff like... Dear Paul (and Debbie, Martin, Prius Rabbits et al!)

Came to the Darlington show with parents and sister, we had a great time (although you didn't make my sister disappear, not that you promised to...but it would have been nice, harrumph). I love magic, both old and new, it's that feeling of "how does he do that?" and that gives you a reminder of being mystified and entranced as a child; we lose that feeling too soon.

Having watched the BBC show for so many years (ah, the Bunco Booth) I just had to come and see you live. It was marvelous to see the recent appearance on Penn & Teller, too.

We all felt it was a great show, and what really made it was your obvious experience with people, your quick wit, and the knowledge that this guy really knows what he is doing. That helped the audience warm-up (we seemed a bit difficult to start with!). I must learn the elastic band trick so I can pick-up random women in airports...and making different numbers of cards appear from ladies bras is a must, too.

It struck me that if you and the troupe had appeared several hundred years ago in Darlington, then you would have been burnt at the stake as Witches & Warlocks. Thankfully times have moved-on, although I would still be wary of appearing in Hartlepool, even in 2011...

As I write we have a couple of days off to sort out, repack, catch up on office work, washing and so on...

Next show... Doncaster.

Hair Today - Gone Tomorrow on Tour

2011-09-19T15:32:00.000-07:00

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of activity trying to get all the props together for the tour. If you see the show you probably won't notice most of them, you will only remember the laughter.

As any pro magician knows, it's not just the getting them together, it's getting them to work and making sure that everyone on and off the stage knows where each item has to be at the right time.

Then there's the music cues and the lighting cues and then................ you arrive at the venue and some of them haven't got the facilities for a full blown stage show so you have to 'edit' the show on the fly.

The night before the tour started I performed at a Comedy Festival in the East End of London. I found it very interesting because it is not my normal kind of venue or event but it took me back to my roots in the clubs and seemed to operate in the same way.

The van had set off the day before for Morecambe and Debbie and I drove the rabbit limo (my new name for the Prius which now has a cage and run in the back) 240 miles up to do the Platform which is a converted railway station on the Promenade. First night and the sound cues weren't right 'cos our sound man wasn't completely sorted out, but because most of the show is about comedy it was easy to make gags out of the situation.

It was great to have Martin back in the show and even Debbie did a couple of tricks. As it was an open platform two illusions had to go, there wasn't enough room to get them on, but it didn't matter to the audience who were rocking with laughter and having a great night out.

The next morning we had to drive 240 miles back again. That's the life of the entertainer folks. Immediately I was back at work adjusting bits and bobs and on the phone discussing what needed tightening where and so on.

All in all I am happy with the way it's working and I think that this run will be fun.

Whilst that was all going on I decided it was time to let the world know about http://www.facebook.com/magicfancydress and get them to 'Like' the page. It's early days so we are focusing first on the fancy dress side of the business before going on to increase the magic props and routines.

Already there has been a swell of interest so fingers crossed that it will take off and we will get more and more organised in that direction.

As I write it's late and I have to be up at 6 a.m. to load up for a few days away. Tomorrow night we will be doing the show in the lovely Opera House in Buxton.

I can hear the words of the song I'll be singing as I pull away in the morning..."On the road again, me and Debbie on the road again....."

After the Fringe

2011-09-03T00:10:00.000-07:00

It has been six days since we packed up in Edinburgh and hit the road south. Most of our stuff was put into the van, leaving the back of the car as a rabbit playground for the 8 hour journey home.

We broke the trip by overnighting after a three hours driving, as we usually try to do on long journeys and then Debbie and I shared the driving the next day.

Despite getting bills and the like sent on to us by our housekeeper/sitter/plant watering person we were still met by a mountain of mail, unpacking, sorting out and washing and ironing. That's the 'ugh' part of a season away.

At the end of this blog I will attach all the other stuff we got up to in Edinburgh which might make for a boring read but will show you what happens during the daytime, interviews on interviews on interviews...

Of course when we got home the work continued, certainly regarding the coming tour (why do people nowadays say 'upcoming'?). Martin and Andi came down for a meeting and we hammered out the details of the contents of the show. At the same time the Penn and Teller's Fool Us TV show was aired as the finale of the series and we were featured as the closing act. That got rave reviews from Twitter, Facebook, emails and the like. We were not there to 'fool 'em', our job was to surprise them, and I think we did that.

The Phantom Illusion used to close the live show when Martin was in it years ago and I wanted to use it on the coming tour but now many people have viewed it on TV I was puzzled as to how we could still entertain with it in theatres. Well, the good news is that we will have a different ending to the Phantom when it goes on tour, if I can get the props pulled together in 10 days!

Since that meeting Debbie and I have been working hard on props, costumes and the like. The rabbits have been enjoying being back on the grass in their 'home run' and the weather has been glorious.

Today Gary will arrive and we will work on Flying Carpets for the pantomime season... it'll soon be Christmas!

Here's the list of interviews... it'll help you go to sleep...

PAUL DANIELS MEDIA REPORT

Edinburgh Fringe 2011

MEDIA PRINTED/BROADCAST

SCOTSMAN – Feature mention – 31^st May

CHORTLE – News piece mention – 8^th June

LIST.CO.UK – ‘Ones to Watch’ mention - 9th June

STV.TV – News piece with picture – 10^th June

EDINBURGH FESTIVAL MAGAZINE – A-Z feature mention with picture – July

LOVEFRINGE.COM – Picture preview – 1^st July

FESTIVALPREVIEWS.COM – Virtual flyer – 6^th July

LIST.CO.UK – Picture preview – 6^th July

THE TIMES: WEEKEND – ‘My Weekend’ feature - 9^th July

RADIO 2: STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON – Interview – 12^th July

TALK SPORT: HAWKSBEE & JACOBS – Interview – 12^th July

FIVE LIVE: RICHARD BACON SHOW – Interview – 13^th July

ITV1: LOOSE WOMEN – Interview – 15^th July

THE LIST FESTIVAL GUIDE – Feature – 20^th July

BRITISH COMEDY GUIDE – Picture preview – 25^th July

SPOONFED.CO.UK - Feature – 27^th July

EDINBURGHSPOTLIGHT.COM – Feature preview – 29^th July

THE TELEGRAPH – Feature – 30^th July (and online)

THE SKINNY – Picture preview - August issue

THE HAMILTON’S – Chat show interview – 4^th August

WHATSONSTAGE.COM – Press launch mention - 4th August

STV.TV - Press launch mention - 4th August

BBC1 NEWS – Interview – 5^th August

HARDEEP’S CHAT MASALA – Chat show interview - 5^th August

TELEGRAPH.CO.UK – Fringe feature mention - 5th August

TELEGRAPH.CO.UK – Review – 5^th August

THE HERALD – Review - 5th August (and online)

EDINBURGH TONIGHT – Chat Show interview & performance – 6^th August

DAILY RECORD – Fringe feature mention – 6^th August

EDFESTMAG.COM – Review - 6th August

SCOTTISH DAILY EXPRESS – Feature – 6^th August

STV.TV – Video interview – 6^th August

ABSOLUTE RADIO: DAVE GORMAN SHOW – Interview – 7^th August

THE OBSERVER – Diary mention - 7th August (and online)

GILDED BALLOON PODCAST – Interview – 7^th August

INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY – How We Met feature - 7th August (and online)

FORTH RADIO – Charity gala performance – 7^th August

SCOTLAND ON SUNDAY – Review – 7^th August (and online)

REAL RADIO – Interview on Breakfast Show – 8^th August

THE TELEGRAPH- Review - 8th August

LIST.CO.UK – Review - 8th August

FRESH AIR RADIO – Live interview - 9^th August

STV.TV – Video interview & feature - 9th August

THE INDEPENDENT –Tweet mention / Dave Gorman’s Must Sees - 9th August

IDEAS TAP – Blog mention - 9th August

FORTH RADIO – Interview – 9^th August

THE SCOTSMAN – Blog - 10th August

THREE WEEKS – Review - 10th August

TELEGRAPH.CO.UK – Video interview – 11^th August

THE TELEGRAPH – ‘Edinbuzz’ mention - 11th August

THE INDEPENDENT – ‘My Edinburgh’ feature - 11th August

THE LIST – Review (with name on cover) - 11th August

EDINBURGH EVENING NEWS – Feature - 11th August (and online)

TRISICKLE.CO.UK – Feature - 11th August

CAPITAL RADIO SCOTLAND – Interview on Des & Jennie Breakfast Show – 12^th August

CHORTLE – Review - 12th August

STV: 6pm News – Interview on Royal Mile – 12^th August

STV.TV – 2^nd part of feature - 12th August

BBC SCOTLAND: JANICE FORSYTH – Live interview – 13^th August

WEST END WHINGERS – Review - 13th August

MAXWELL’S FULL MOONERS – Performance – 14^th August

SUNDAY SUN – Feature mention - 14th August

THESTAGE.CO.UK – Blog mention - 15th August

WHATSONSTAGE.COM – Review - 16th August

THREE WEEKS – Review – Week 2

FESTMAG.CO.UK – Review – 17^th August

EDINBURGH EVENING NEWS – Review - 17th August (and online)

CHANNEL 4 NEWS – Interview – 17^thAugust

GUARDIAN.CO.UK – Feature mention - 17th August

SCOTSMAN.COM – Review - 17th August

THE STAGE – Review - 18th August

BBC.CO.UK/SCOTLAND – ‘How to find a great Fringe show’ feature mention – 18^th August

PUBLIC REVIEWS – Review - 18th August

VERITAS (Uni paper) – Feature – 18^th August

OLIVIA LEE CHAT SHOW – Interview – 19^th August

FEST MAG – Review - 19th August

RADIO 4 LOOSE ENDS – Interview – 20^th August

THE GUARDIAN – Diary mention - 20th August

SKY NEWS – Interview as part of magic feature – 20^th August

THREE WEEKS ONLINE – Review - 20th August

METRO – Review - 22nd August

THE LIST – ‘Most Spotted’ mention – 23^rd August

BBC.CO.UK – Faces of the Fringe picture – 24^th August

RADIO 4 ‘WORLD AT 1’ – Phone interview – 25^th August

MIRROR ONLINE – Wooden Spoon mention - 25th August

GUARDIAN.CO.UK - Best joke Worst joke feature mention - 25th August

INDEPENDENT.CO.UK - Best joke Worst joke feature mention - 25^th August

DAILY EXPRESS – Wooden Spoon mention with picture - 25th August

THE TELEGRAPH - Best joke Worst joke feature mention - 25th August

5 LIVE ‘TONY LOVESIES’ – Phone interview – 25^th August

METRO - Best joke Worst joke feature mention - 25th August

DAILY RECORD – Best joke Worst joke feature mention - 25th August

MAIL ONLINE - Best joke Worst joke feature mention - 25^th August

THE TIMES – Review - 25th August

GILDED BALLOON PODCAST – Interview – 26^th August

EXPRESS.CO.UK - Best joke Worst joke feature mention - 26th August

BBC RADIO SCOTLAND ‘OFF THE BALL’ – Interview – 27^th August

DAILY RECORD – Wooden Spoon mention with picture – 27^th August

PRESS IN SHOWS

Weds 3^rd August

SCOTS GAY – Martin Walker

THE HERALD – Colin Somerville

THE LIST – Anne Millar

EDFESTMAG.COM – Tom Farringdon

SCOTLAND ON SUNDAY – Jonathan Trew

Thurs 4^th August

VERITAS – Nicola Love

MAGIC NETWORK – Andrew Spiers

THE TELEGRAPH – Mark Monahan

Fri 5^th August

COMCOMEDY – crew

HAIRLINE – Martin Millar

REAL RADIO – Michael Macrae

Mon 8^th August

EDINBURGH EVENING NEWS – Joe Pike

THREE WEEKS – Chris Cooke

Weds 10^th August

EVENING STANDARD – Bruce Dessau

THE INDEPENDENT – Julian Hall

CHANNEL 4 NEWS – Crew

Fri 12^th August

FEST – Honour Bayes

SUNDAY EXPRESS – Mark Shenton

CHORTLE – Steve Bennett

Sat 13^th August

THE GUARDIAN – Brian Logan

Sun 14^th August

BBC SCOTLAND – Pauline McClean

FORTH RADIO – Graham Worman

THE TIMES – Dominic Maxwell

Mon 15^th August

WHATSONSTAGE – Julie McNichols

Tues 16^th August

METRO – Damon Smith

FRESH ALTERNATIVE – Craig Stevens

RADIO 1 – Chris Cox

Weds 17^th August

PUBLIC REVIEWS – John Roberts

Thurs 18^th August

RADIO 4 LOOSE ENDS – Clive Anderson

Fri 19^th August

LOOSE WOMEN – Emma Bailey

Sun 21^st August

THE INDEPENDENT – Alice Jones

It was a busy month.

Penultimate Night at the Edinburgh Fringe

2011-08-27T13:51:00.001-07:00

I wasn't going to blog again until I was back home down south, but thanks to a couple of comments today I started to think about all sorts of bits and pieces.

Years and years ago, when I was working in the Working Men's Clubs and Night Clubs, audiences and club organisers and owners used to vote for who they thought were the best acts in various categories.

I won quite a few of those awards, usually as either the Speciality Act of the Year, or Entertainer of the Year. One year I was told that I had come tops in 5 sections but as they had a gala night to show all the best acts they could only give me one of them otherwise the show would be over too quickly.

Now why did that jump into my mind? Well, tonight the show sold out and I had a great night on stage doing what I do best, and the audience were rocking with laughter. It's a great feeling.

I knew that I had a lot to do after the show so I nipped out quickly to say 'bye to those who hung back for autographs and photos. So many of them were still on a high and were very complimentary. I had a lot of gags with them and then one guy said that he and his family had been to see quite a lot of comedians at the Fringe, but that none of them got as many laughs as I did. Others in the crowd agreed.

Now that got me to thinking about how we categorise the shows we see. The BBC were the same when I pointed out that after many years of getting people on stage and talking to them, I would like to present a chat show. 'You can't do that. You are the magician.' I did point out that Johnny Carson and Dick Cavett, the two top chat show hosts in America, had been magicians but they wouldn't have it.

Up here of course they have the comedy awards but I know I would never be considered, nor would any other magician, because..... 'You are the magician'.

One comment I gathered along the way was that they laughed at Tommy Cooper when his tricks went wrong and they laugh at me when it goes right!

I wonder if Tommy Cooper would have had a chance...

I went back in and I have crated everything ready to go into the van tomorrow. The final show tomorrow will have some different routines in it and we will be able to get on the road very quickly afterwards. See you in the South!

And now, the end is near...

2011-08-26T03:41:00.000-07:00

Only three more shows to do here in Edinburgh and, yes, there is a feeling of sadness inside me. I love this city; I love the regular walks to work in a funny little venue with peculiar dressing room conditions; I love bumping into other acts from all walks of show business. I will miss it all.

Looking around the million posters and leaflets yesterday, I remarked to another comedian, 'You do realise that next week we will all be landfill...'

The month here has flown by so quickly. I have had hardly any spare time thanks to Bex, our PR, fixing up literally dozens of interviews and shows not only to do with the Fringe but also preparing the publicity for our coming tour of the UK. Please check out the tour dates page on www.pauldaniels.co.uk and help to spread the word if we are coming near to you.

The reviews (they seem to have dropped the word 'crits') have all been favourable except for one, yesterday, from the Express newspaper which once again proved how out of touch and unaware of show business our papers can be. I was delighted to be awarded the wooden spoon for telling the worst joke at the Fringe. I have been telling this 'observational' bit of humour for over 20 years about various posh places I have visited. It is supposed to be what I call a 'groaner' but every night it gets a groan then a laugh.

It is part of a set of three jokes (the rule of three always being a good 'un) and it sets up beautifully the next two gags. Sadly the Express, who have not been to the show, and who have completely ignored the other reviews including the one in the Times the day before, wrote that I was the unfunniest man at the Fringe. Oh please, do us all a favour and do a News of the World vanish if you are going to get it so wrong.

That last paragraph may sound conceited, but it isn't. I don't believe mine was even the worst gag, and the winner was a gag that has been on the internet as a 'blonde' joke for years so the Express should have realised that such a 'competition' only exists to give more publicity to the Fringe and more power to the organiser's elbow say I.

The packing has begun. As usual we leave out of the cases the required number of socks, underwear, shirts, and so on whilst shovelling everything else into cases. Unused props are being boxed and the computer/printer/DVD copier/photoprinter and so on are all being piled up ready for the van to be loaded on Sunday afternoon.

On Saturday night, after the show, all large props will be crated and I will leave myself with a set of lightweight but funny routines so that after the Sunday night show we can get on the road as quickly as possible. Then it will be a few hours driving before completing the journey the next day and this Edinburgh Fringe will become another memory on the show business highway.

The Edinburgh Fringe Mixture

2011-08-22T03:07:00.000-07:00

One of the problems of doing the Fringe is the extraordinary amount of other shows that are on stage when your show is on stage so you can't get to see them. Then the addition of doing all the interviews that we are doing to promote the Autumn tour also reduces the spare time available.

I thought I would have loads of time up here to edit videos, see shows, and so on but that really has not been the case at all and even walking the rabbits (I carry them, they are not on leashes) back to the flat diminishes the time.

One of the most interesting observations I have made, when guesting on other shows and also visiting the few shows that I have been able to get to see is how times they are a-changing. There are some comedians out there still using the infamous four-letter words but, and this is not me being a prude or expressing my own way of working, I have noticed that the most sustained laughter comes when such words are not included in the show.

On TV I know that producers have the words edited out and the comedians look like family entertainers. The posters up here do have age limits printed on them but I was watching the audience, both young and old, at a concert the other night and the f word, used a lot, always made the audience reaction dip down and it took a while to climb back up again. I wonder if the pendulum is starting to swing back and the shock value is now fading away.

Here in Edinburgh the range of shows is extra-ordinary, from high drama through am-drams, musicals, comedians, oddball stuff. I do think that some of the 'reviews' must be written by the cast because my visiting friends have reported back that some well reviewed shows were pretty dire, and should be rated below amateur level.

The funniest show by far that we have seen was that of Kev Orkian whose range of talents are extraordinary. See him if you can wherever he may be. Funny and fascinating was The Boy with Tape on his Face and again highly recommended. A more than pleasant surprise was One Night Stan, a play written and acted by Miles Gallant which took us into Stan Laurel's dressing room on the last night of the last tour. Anyone in show business can 'feel' that and we all enjoyed the show.

A bigger surprise for me, having worked with Bobby Crush on and off over the years, was his presentation of Liberace. The script is funny, Bobby acts the part so well, and of course the piano playing is amazing, especially the last 'selection'. This may be coming to town, as they say. See it.

Bunnies are happy this morning after we drove out to the incredible Dobbie's Garden Centre near here and bought them toys and stuff. Now I am off to do a Q and A with another magician, Paul Zenon, firing the questions at me. He raises money to take the elderly out to shows so I said yes to that one. I wonder what he will ask...

I can't believe we only have seven more shows left here.

After the Fringe

2011-08-19T01:44:00.001-07:00

Don't get me wrong. We are still enjoying every moment of the Edinburgh Fringe but we do have to look ahead and the reason the blog has been ignored for a couple of days is that we have been doing interviews for the coming tour.

When you first book a tour you think it is a long way off and then, suddenly, you become aware that it is next month and we already more than half way through August. Gulp.

So, we have spent a lot of time on the phone and in the local radio station taking to a very wide range of interviewers. It is very important that for every one night stand we cover ALL the local radio stations and ALL the local newspapers and magazines. People no longer seem to think along the lines of 'what's on the TV?' 'what's on the theatre?' so it is very difficult to reach out to them all and let them know we are on the way.

Twitter and Facebook help quite a bit in publicity terms, and the blog, and they help to direct possible customers to the list that is constantly updated on the web site. Sure, we do have a great PR, but it is still down to us to say 'yes' to every possible outlet and then to do it.

In between the calls I have been replicating, printing and packaging the simple magic DVD, Making Magic, which is sold in the shop and online shop. Now I know it all works, of course, I will have them 'manufactured.'

The shows here are still going well, and we are now being told on the streets that we are 'the show to see' but even so, last night was only about half full. There is simply too much 'competition' and so much of the entertainment is 'free'. I put that in quotes because as we all know there is no such thing as a free lunch and the venues that say they are free are making their money on sales of alcohol and food. We do neither.

A bit of a dash, and a crepe along the way to sustain us, and we got in to see the comedy imp Barry Cryer. The man LOVES comedy and is one of the great raconteurs. It was a joy to see his show and for me to realise there IS somebody out there who is older than me. In fact I think his initials refer to his birth date. As Barry is an old mate we had chance for a quick natter after the show with him and his wife.

A big surprise last night after the show was to find that Topaz, the German magician, had been in the audience with two of his German showbusiness friends. It's embarrassing how well they speak English. A good natter with them and Paul Zenon made us miss Bobby Crush and the Liberace show but we have rearranged that for Sunday.

It's Martin's birthday today. He can't really be that old can he? The clock ticks away, doesn't it?

Right now the clock is telling me to clean out the rabbits and go to the Post Office. Debbie is flying around getting ready for our friends who are arriving for the weekend. Have fun

On the Fringe

2011-08-16T13:02:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. I have my feet up. The TV is on. Dinner has been cooked, served and eaten. Another really good day has flown by.

I spent the morning multi-tasking. They say only women can do that. I think that is only said by women. Men know.

Whilst doing interviews the Daniels DVD Factory was in full swing in the bedroom, on the dressing table to be exact. The DVD copier was whirring away churning out the new Making Magic for beginners onto printable DVDs and the printer was printing the titles onto the disks. I found out some time back that when you stick labels onto disks the adhesive can warp them and they don't play properly, so ever since I have used printable disks.

At the same time I was talking to

10:30am: STAR RADIO (Darlington – 23^rd Sep) – James Horspool -

10:45am: LANCASHIRE EVENING POST (Morecambe / Colne) – Judith Dornan

11am: BAY RADIO (Morecambe – 17^th Sep) – Darren Milby

11:15am: GLOSSOP CHRONICLE (Buxton) – Cezara Pallister

11:30am: HIGH PEAK RADIO (Buxton – 20^th Sep) – Holly

11:45am: DORSET ECHO (Poole – 25^th Sep, Christchurch) – Ruth Meech

12pm: YELLOW ADVERTISER (Basildon – 30^th Sep) – Jenny Green

Lunch was a real treat at Le Monde with Ross King and partner Briannah, and Debbie of course. As always when we meet up we laughed a lot and then set off to do the show.

Quite a few magic acts in tonight and it is always great to watch and hear the audience rocking with laughter. Some, but usually magic acts, describe what I do as 'old fashioned'; maybe they are right but so long as 'normal' people rock with laughter I will stick with the formula.

After that quite a long interview with a really nice guy. You know how you meet some people and instantly know they are OK? Well, this journalist, from the Yorkshire Post, was one of those guys. I don't know if he will ever get to read this, but if he does, I say to Nick Ahad, it was a pleasure to be interviewed by you.

Then a slow meander home in the rain, meeting nice people along the way and, as I said, a chillin' evening.

What a great day at the Fringe.

2011-08-15T16:01:00.000-07:00

I am coming to the end of one of the best evenings I have ever had, here or anywhere else. Sure, we did the show and it seemed to be zooming along. We had other shows in to see what we were up to and we even had magicians from LA in the audience.

One guy who I got on stage even turned out to be a talent coordinator from LA as well. LA must be nearly empty. Who knows, perhaps he is looking for a major sex symbol and I'll get the part. :)

After the show we headed for a quiet area and enjoyed a crack or three with Roy Walker before meandering down the hill to the Pleasance Courtyard to watch one of the most original and hysterical acts I have ever seen. Whilst waiting to go in we met up with Kev Orkian, another great entertainer and had a lot of gags going with the waiting crowd.

It is impossible to describe what we saw so all I will say is if you get ANY opportunity to see The Boy with Tape on his Face, go. I cannot recommend this show highly enough. One nice surprise for me was to see him do something I learnt as a child, the propellor cigarette paper. I couldn't believe it 'cos I had never seen anyone else do it.

After the show Debbie, Kev and I went for a pasta supper and rounded off the night swapping show business stories. I love Edinburgh.

An easy day at the Fringe

2011-08-14T16:38:00.001-07:00

Yup. Easy. I even had a sleep in this morning. Aw come on, I deserved it. I loved mooching around this morning tidying the stuff that was lying around and then I went a bit nuts cleaning up the rabbit's home. By the time I had cleaned out the litter trays, the bed area, the very large bottom tray (which is deep) and replaced all the sawdust and bedding it had taken up over an hour.

A lovely quiet lunch with Debbie and off we went to the venue again. The show went well, with no hiccups and one of my best ad-libs of this season when two women in the front row separated by a row of kids started slagging each other off. One of them told me that the other was her sister and sort of asked for my help. 'I think you are confusing me with Jeremy Kyle' I said and the audience roared. See? Comedy doesn't have to be witty, just timely!

Even though the audience were very complimentary and a lot of them wanted photos and autographs after the show I didn't feel that I was at my best. It's like that sometimes. The audience love it but you feel you were not firing on all cylinders.

That feeling was gone when much later I hit the stage in a Spiegeltent to be part of the Full Mooners show. This is a great idea by Andrew Maxwell, an Irish comedian, in which he and the audience howl every time a full moon is projected on the screen at the end of each gag or trick. I invited Debbie to join me and improvised a mindreading routine with me in the audience and Debbie providing the answers. Then I did my comedy cards across again (such a useful trick) and after watching the brilliant comedy observations of Glenn Wool we meandered home again.

The rabbits have been tended to. I have had my supper. It's time for bed.

Only at the Fringe

2011-08-13T16:42:00.000-07:00

What a day what a day. I haven't been sleeping too well over the last few nights. Too much to think about I guess. Last night, because I was getting too tired I decided to take a Stugeron. Silly me. This morning I couldn't fully wake up. I was even 'heavy tired' walking to the radio station to be interviewed on Radio Scotland.

That chat turned out to be fun, however, and we walked back to the flat .... slowly .... I spent the early part of the afternoon nodding off, waking, and nodding off again. I felt so heavy.

About 2.30 we set off to meet up with Paul Wilson, one of the more interesting men on the magic scene but sadly we couldn't chat for long as I had to go and set up my show. Because of the space restrictions backstage we can't set it up the night before and leave it ready to go. The show was sold out again and we had another set of Debbie's relatives in the audience who had come over from Ireland.

I had to do lots of improvisation in the routines today because neither of the men I got on stage had any money of any kind on them. Routines altered on the fly so that I could get out the other end but the guillotine illusion was a riot because the young man I picked on, an actor, was truly worried by it. All ended well and we dashed home for a quick meal before nipping round the corner to see a ballet company over from China performing a ballet that was a mixture of traditional 'Chinese Opera' look with both hints of modern and classical ballet. That damned pill from last night kept kicking in and I had to fight to stay awake.

Back home and guess what, I fell asleep again but we had put the alarm clock on because we had an appearance to do in a Burlesque show. About 1,000 in the audience and a wonderfully eccentric mix of a show with not only the appropriately tassled girls and corsets, but a guy playing Hitler doing Sinatra and another singing George Formby impressions. Where else?

In the quite warm night air we walked along Princes Street to the late night sounds of the fireworks and bagpipes of the Edinburgh Tattoo Ceremony and got into a trishaw peddled by a young Lithuanian lad. Unfortunately for him it was quite a climb uphill and he really worked up a sweat before he crested the hill and the last part of the ride was a hair raising experience as we flew over cobbles and through traffic to home.

What a day what a day...

I wear my own Fringe in Edinburgh

2011-08-12T12:41:00.000-07:00

Oops, I missed a day. What happened? I don't know and that is not the result of alcohol. I think that I am living in a kind of haze at the moment with PR Bex rushing me from interview to interview to interview.

After yesterevening's show I managed a short trip 'home' before heading off to do a short cabaret spot in a hotel just of Princes Street, in George's Street to be precise. As usual with multi-talented dinner shows it was running late so I kept it very tight and just did one comedy card routine. On the way we had a drink in the hotel across the street, Le Monde. That is one well designed place and I would recommend it if you are looking for a nice place to sit and have a quiet drink.

Debbie and I went down to the madness of the Royal Mile today and met so many many nice people all out to have a good time amongst the incredibly creative people on view there. We were there to record a short piece for Scottish TV and had a few laughs doing that. Just before we went on air I spotted Calamity Jane in the crowd. Not the real one of course, but a familiar face from close to home.

A couple of years ago we went to the wonderful theatre at Sonning and watched Sally Hughes as Doris Day. She was so good I honestly thought she was miming and here she was doing the show at the Fringe at C34. Recommended.

A trip back to the flat and we picked up the rabbits to go to the show. Slight delay when I forgot my phone so I had to go back, not too far, to get it. Almost at the venue and I noticed Deb had forgotten the suit bag with my clothes in it. She went back whilst I set up the show. That went well and we had a lot of laughs afterwards as I pretended to be deaf and made the customers outside the venues shout their compliments to publicise the show.

Oh no... it started to rain on the way home and I was half way there when, guess what? I had forgotten my phone and the umbrella so I went back to the venue for those whilst Debbie took the rabbits back and met me later in a restaurant.

You may be thinking we are going doo lally but no, that's not the case. By doing all these odd interviews and mini shows as a magician you are constantly moving a lot of small props in and out of your bags and pockets. It is easy to concentrate on the wrong things as you are heading back and forth.

Now it is a time for relaxation again. I am on one settee, Debbie on the other, the rabbits are stretched out on their straw beds. All is at peace in the world.

We love Edinburgh

2011-08-10T13:32:00.000-07:00

Today the weather was dire, especially this evening, but it cannot dampen our enthusiasm for this wonderful city and the incredible Fringe. We are having far too much fun and laughter.

Once again the morning was full of interviews but I managed to locate a local post office and send out some of the outstanding post. It's great walking along and everybody talks to you. I even taught an actress from a children's show how to handle a magic trick as we stood underneath our umbrellas.

Debbie and I dived into a member's bar and did a video interview for Channel Four news and then another for the Telegraph's online site.

There's a very strange point that is brought up from time to time about 'old fashioned' magic. I have studied the theatrical art of magic all my life and I have no idea what they are talking about. I have even asked a couple of the journalists to tell me what modern magic is as opposed to old fashioned magic. One hasn't bothered to reply, or doesn't know the answer, the other talked about recent tricks on TV that I know were around before even I was born.

The simple truth of course is that the magic itself does not change at all, only the actors playing the part of magicians. Clothing styles might change but basically you can still only produce or vanish or transpose or penetrate or levitate something.

One of the interviewers was blissfully unaware that anyone had ever done a mind-reading act before Derren Brown. How sad that Chan Canasta, Fogel, Al Koran, David Berglas and so on are not worth 5 minutes of research on the internet. But, it was ever thus I guess.

On the way back to pick up the rabbits we passed a young man resplendent in traditional 'laird' tweed and knickerbockers. He looked great and no one gave him more than a passing glance other than those who, by their reactions and comments, obviously admired him and his style. Perhaps there is nothing wrong with being traditional.

As expected thanks to the weather we were only about half full but that, I hear was much better than most shows were doing. Great audience and great to see Tim Vine and John Archer out there.

As Hopper Seven had decided to baptise me by peeing on my shirt Debbie had to run back to the flat to get me a clean shirt so I could do a show in a nearby speigeltent. I have probably spelt that incorrectly!

This turned out to be a Best of the Fringe show. It was great. Marcel Lucont, the compere, was uniquely funny; Shay Horay did some really weird stuff with rubber bands; Pistol and Jack did the 'music spot'; Michael Workman did one of the cleverest stand up spots I have ever heard; Briefs (?) did a strip tease routine whilst showing great skills with hula hoops; and then I did a card routine to close the show.

A quick taxi drive home and dinner. Happy times.

Back at the Edinburgh Fringe"

2011-08-10T00:36:00.000-07:00

Well, after my rant about ideas that we could use to deter rioters, both on here and on Twitter, I was pleasantly surprised that the vast majority of people came out in favour and only two went the 'do gooder' route. In the midst of it all I thought about those countries that remove the right hand of thieves...

There was a play I once saw on TV with a detective walking along a country lane and he met an old man leaning on a fence who expressed his sympathy for the police (even then) because the old man felt that the courts were not backing up the police work with strong enough sentences. 'We need more deterrent. We need to take something from them that they really cherish to make them stop and think before they commit the crime.' "Like what?" asked the copper. The old man didn't hesitate. 'Their testicles' he said.

The detective visibly rocked back and said something like "That's horrific. You couldn't do that."

'Oh', said the old man (and I have often thought about this over the years....) 'You wouldn't have to do many...................'

Meanwhile, back at the Fringe we did a great radio interview yesterday in a tiny studio high up in a tower all manned by good, happy, laughing young students and it was a pleasure to be with them. FreshAir radio is on line.

Then off to do Capital Radio, a phone interview for a Magic site, and then Radio Forth who were raving about the bit I did on their charity show the other night. All in all a nice day, and this morning I even got a 'rave' email about a gag I put in last night...

"I have seen a lot of comedians already this year but not topped your comment on stage last night about being fed up over the years with American TV shows going on and on about 'where you in 'nam?' 'I was in 'nam' and so on. When you said that now it was going to be in all our TV dramas 'I was in 'nam...................................Tottenh..............'am' I nearly fell off my chair laughing. I never realised that you did gags or were so up to date and topical. Great gag Paul and thanks for a great show" Nice one.

Debbie Irish family came over to see the show and we went for dinner later with them. The big surprise was the 13 year old's BRILLIANT designs on T shirts. Watch out for the future designer!

Riots

2011-08-09T06:24:00.000-07:00

How sad. Up here in the wonderworld that is the Edinburgh Fringe/Festival you want your show to 'go down a riot'. Down south the TV is showing us the horror of the March of the Morons.

Years ago I met some executives of the railway network who told me that when some idiot or idiots put something on the lines, which might derail a train, they worked very hard to keep it out of any media coverage because such an occurrence did appear on TV or in the newspapers, they knew that other brain-dead idiots would copycat the crime. Experience had shown them that in the coming days they would have a spate of such happenings.

Again, years ago, when the Brixton riots exploded and the TV station's journalists all leapt into action and covered the story, riots burst out all over the place. Perhaps it's not such a good idea to promote such happenings in the media in the way they are depicted. Perhaps it would be better if instead of the destruction we saw the police shoving the criminals into wagons, saw the arrests, heard about the sentencing, in other words promoted the fact that criminals DO get caught and have to pay consequences.

All this started of course, by someone getting shot. We are very lucky in this country that our police services do not go round shooting people at random BUT some friends and relatives of the dead man started a peaceful campaign. They were upset and wanted to know the truth of what happened. The morons were not prepared to wait for the legal process to take place and the question must be asked, did they care? I think not.

They saw an opportunity to jump on a bandwagon and to steal goods from businesses and households using violence and destruction as a cover for what they were really up to. Did a bookstore get robbed? No. Electrical goods, clothing and drug stores were the target. They are too stupid to realise that all of this damage has to be paid for and some of them who might have jobs will have to pay increased council and income taxes. I suspect that most of them however, don't pay either of those.

Those of a political leaning also jumped on the bandwagon blaming the government for it all as they were talking about reducing the number of coppers on the streets etc. This despite news reports that showed 200 policemen taking on 50 vandals. 'Oh, the PM is coming back after the event...' Well folks, it only happened two nights before so first night is terrible, second night is escalation, and he flies back...........................to do what? To go out there and take 'em on himself? Ridiculous to accuse the PM when you should be accusing the criminals.

We must not, however, violate the human rights of those who are violating our human rights. This I will never understand. I thought 'outlaws' were OUTSIDE the law and therefore not party to it. We can't use rubber bullets; we can't use water cannons; we can't hit 'em. Why not? If I was a poor policemen facing thugs I know I would want to defend myself and fight back, but we say they mustn't do that. So what's to do?

The best idea I have come up with is to spray them with marker paint. For a joke years ago I sprayed a shirt I was wearing and to my surprise when I got undressed the paint was all over my body. An overall spray or paint guns with the kind of marker paint that used to explode out of money bags when they were pulled from the carrier's hands would surely land on parts of faces, necks, hands and maybe even go through trousers onto legs. That night or for days to come the police could then roam the area picking up those who had been marked. As a well known meerkat says..... 'Simples'

Selling Out at the Edinburgh Fringe

2011-08-08T12:02:00.000-07:00

Today was the first time we didn't have to go running about doing telecasts, podcasts, or any other kind of interview so I was able to answer lots of email, twitters, send out autographs, print photos and get a 'simple magic' DVD onto eBay. Not bad at all.

The DVD is in response to everyone onto me trying to find out how to get started in magic. It has 13 simple tricks on it. Whoever buys it won't do them all of course because you really should only do the tricks that you enjoy doing.

After setting that lot up we went off to the venue and I set up all the props .... again.... the guillotine with its accessory jokes, the rabbit production table, the act box, Dean's Box... it sounds simple doesn't it, but you can't afford to let your mind wander when setting up an act. Each little part must be in exactly the same place every time so that you don't have to think at all about where anything is.

Finally I put the two spare tricks in the back of the box.........just in case. Overall an easy set up because the play wasn't using the theatre before us today.

Afterwards we took a stroll back to the apartment and on the way met a nice couple who were coming to see our show. I told them they had missed it but the lady was adamant that we were doing a later show. I checked the ticket and she was looking at the price and thinking it was the time! It took a while at the box office to exchange the ticket for one for tomorrow night!

Now we are back at the flat, dinner is cooking, and I am, in the modern vernacular, 'chillin'

Hope you had a good day too.

A Great Day of Shows at Edinburgh Fringe

2011-08-07T13:23:00.000-07:00

We had to be up and out reasonably early this morning in the pouring rain to visit Dave Gorman in the studios where he was broadcasting on Absolute Radio. Great questions and great fun. Dave, off air, was after me to teach him the Come Back Rubber Band but we had to dash away to do a podcast show from the Gilded Balloon so I guess he will have to take a rain check on the lesson.

A quick taxi trip to the venue and we watched others doing their thing before it was our turn to be interviewed. I like doing these types of show mostly because I never know what they are going to ask or where the chat will go. It's like my own show; I don't have a fixed script and I do tend to walk the line just about every night.

To my amazement we then had the afternoon off so we went back to the flat, talked to the rabbits, loafed about and then went off to our venue where I set up the show more quickly than I have been doing over the last few days. The routine is settling in.

Thanks to the rain we only had about half a house but they were not only really international and all ages but they were great, laughed in all the right places and the show felt good.

Whilst the Liberace show was setting up on stage we packed up and headed back to the flat with the rabbits and then the phone started ringing.

I had agreed to do a charity gig for Radio Forth and the show was in the 3000 seat Playhouse Theatre. They had phoned our PR, Bex, concerned that I wouldn't be able to 'fill' the stage and wanting to know if I wanted them to transport something big to the theatre. Bex tried to tell them that I was a pro and they shouldn't worry and then came a few 'buts'....

We were back to a problem I have experienced quite a few times and I am not alone. It's an oddity. The bookers want me and presumably they want me for what I have done, for my experience and expertise in my particular field. Even in TV the magic shows are controlled by producers who have very little or no knowledge of magic, which is a unique theatrical art form and as I am always saying, provided the effect baffles people, the magic doesn't really matter at all. It is never the trick, it is always the performer(s).

So off I went to the theatre...............................with my pack of cards in my pocket. I walked into the stage door, asked for a mike on a stand, asked whether there was stage access from the audience (there wasn't) and organised helpers to show people out of the auditorium and up to the stage, waited for an intro and walked onstage. I knew exactly what I was going to do and as always in a large theatre, made my smile, my gestures, my body language all much bigger than for my normal venue.... and went for the slot like a rocket.

I did an audience rousing version of a trick called 6 card repeat and followed that up with my comedy version of Cards Across with two lovely young women I picked out the audience. We all had a ball, the audience were rocking and at the same time they were all baffled. Job done.

Apart from my own show we have tomorrow off from interviews etc. Time to regroup!

Another day, another show at the Edinburgh Fringe

2011-08-06T13:04:00.000-07:00

I had to be up and about early this morning and I am so glad I was. It turned out on a Saturday in Edinburgh, before 10, the city is wonderfully quiet and this morning was sunny. Most enjoyable as I walked to the venue to start to work on the prop that went awry last night.

Having got it dismantled and worked out what I needed I grabbed a taxi to Wonderland. No, that's not another town; it's the name of a great model and toy shop in a part of the city I had never been to. They were more than helpful and very friendly. I got bits and pieces and they sent me a hundred yards down the road to Ali's and again, all friendly and helpful.

Another taxi back to the venue and I managed to repair the table. All was well again and today's show was fully back to normal. Despite the pouring rain we managed to get a goodly audience who laughed in all the right places. The show shot by very quickly and Debbie and I meandered home in the torrential rain. My clothes, as I type, are hanging up in the boiler room to dry.

Gil and Hopper were brilliant today. I held the carry case up to their new home and said 'Show Time' and they both jumped in straight away. They are a constant source of surprises and laughter.

It's still raining and Debbie and I have to go out to do a midnight show with Lorraine Chase!

I hope this rain keeps up........................................................................then it won't come down!

Me and my Big Mouth at the Edinburgh Fringe

2011-08-05T13:18:00.000-07:00

Well that should be a lesson to me. How many times have you noticed a commentator on TV say something like 'He's going to be here for a long time' and the next ball puts 'him' out of the game.

My day started frenetically in that I had ordered a large indoor cage/hutch so the rabbits would be a lot more comfortable away from the green green grass of home. I knew it was coming via DHL but when I phoned the number shown on the internet it turned out to be a company called Yodel, but they pronounce it Yodelle. Weird. Apparently DHL sold them off some time back but the internet still showed the old number. My reference number was not a Yodel number, so they gave me a real number for DHL who told me the reference number was a Yodel number and nobody seemed to know who was doing what where when why. I know, we have all been there, and often BUT a lovely lady at DHL phoned me back to tell me that Yodel were going to deliver it at 11.30. Gulp. I had an interview at 12.00.

At 111.30 I was ripping boxes open, tearing plastic covers of a zillion pieces and trying to follow the language-less imagery that enables companies to sell internationally so that all over the world people can all be baffled. These guys should show this stuff to Penn and Teller and Fool 'em.

Using my powers of logic I had the beast erected enough to let Gill and Hopper be in there whilst Debbie and I ran (Yes, folks. Me. Jogging.) ran to the venue for a TV interview. Nice one and we were only about 10 minutes late. No sooner finished than we were off to face another TV camera and answer more questions. An easy walk across the plastic grass and into yet another church style venue to appear on Hardeep's Chat Masala. At least on this one we got to eat a bit of curry.

One more interview for an online magazine and Debbie went back to pick up the rabbits and I shot round to a Poundshop to get some plastic storage boxes.

Somewhere in the middle of all that interviewing Big Mouth Daniels said that nothing ever went wrong because, up to that moment nothing of any import ever had.

At the venue I started to get all the props ready. Time was ticking away and almost showtime before I noticed that a piece of rubber on a comedy table had snapped. Damn it, that was put on there almost 30 years without a problem. I wonder if the shop is still there so I can go back and complain?

Immediately I had to rejig the running order of the show and rapidly let the crew know this was not going to be a normal sequence. I always have spare tricks on stage with me - I just wasn't sure which I was going to use.

Hey, the good news was that we were almost sold out, and this was only day three. The show started well and inserting my Linking Ring routine in place of the comedy piece that was missing went well. I got two guys on stage but in concentrating on the replacement I forgot that someone had slipped me a note about a man having a stag 'do' and I had said I would find a moment to use him. Speed up Daniels (always a danger) and I did a routine with the two guys I had and then lost 'em so I could get Stag Man up.

I did. He had a woman's dress on, lipstick and a long wig. Oh Lord, why me? A quick re-jig in my head and Debbie brought on the guillotine. Back to all going well when I leaned the blade against my box table and turned away. I heard the crash. The weight of the blade had knocked the table over. The contents were smashed on the stage. Very important to act as if it was not important but the brain was now on hyper setting.

On the spur of the moment I invented a new ending to allow me to give the guy his money back and everyone left having had a good time.... except me.

Hey... you live and learn and at least to the audience they were unaware of the adjustments that had to be made.

Then I went and did another TV interview. You gotta love show business.

My youngest heckler

2011-08-04T14:55:00.000-07:00

Today at the Edinburgh Fringe was once again a busy busy day but we are getting just a little bit better at getting the show ready in a very limited area. We perform on a stage that has been erected in one end of a lecture theatre. Many shows use the same show all day and evening long and we all have to share the next lecture theatre which is used as a store for ALL the scenery AND as dressing rooms which are really just partitioned off curtained areas in the rows of seats. Not easy.

First off I had a meeting about a possible documentary to be followed by a film, I hope. Can't tell you much about it yet but watch this space. Don't hold your breath, however, 'cos these things take forever, and then sometimes fizzle away...

Then Debbie and I went off into the inflated upside down cow known as Udderbelly to be interviewed by the Hamiltons. What characters they are and we had a really funny time with other guests all fooling about for an hour or so.

After that we nipped into the bar next door to be interviewed by a couple of students. Really good questions and then we went off to be interviewed by Sky News for their evening news. They even came to the show to video excerpts.

Probably because I was ready earlier than yesterday I really 'attacked' the stage and was surprised to see how many children were in the audience and even more surprisingly down the front. I bashed on with the act, trying to walk the line between keeping the kids quiet and interested whilst making the adults laugh.

Suddenly one of the children started talking to me. It wasn't clear to me or the audience what she was saying because she was about 18 months old! I got 'Mam' and 'Dad' and similar burblings but suddenly whole sentences of gibberish came flooding out and her mother said it was because she wanted to come on stage.

Only one thing to do.... I got the kid onstage and had a lot of ad-libs using her. It went really well. After the show the mother, oblivious to the fact that I really had to work to overcome an awkward moment, said that she had wanted her daughter to see me because her mother had brought her, as a child, to see me. Hey ho...

When we came out of the theatre I was surrounded by customers all complimenting me on how I had handled the child. Great, but I do hope the next kids are older!

Another nice meal tonight. Edinburgh does have nice restaurants. I have just checked the diary and oh boy, do we have a lot more interviews tomorrow. Can't complain because the box office sales are climbing every day. We might yet make a profit!

Up and running at the Edinburgh Fringe

2011-08-04T01:59:00.001-07:00

Thanks to the Sun newspaper completely distorting a story from over a month ago, my opening day at the Fringe was spent not in getting the show ready but in repeatedly denying that I was in hospital as a result of a pizza in the eye recording the Sooty show.

That meant that on top of all the other interviews I was doing I was left with a mad scramble backstage to get the props all ready for the show. As usual with show business, however, we made it in time and the show seemed to go very well.

I say 'seemed' because when I am performing a strange sequence of routines away from the normal running order, my brain seems to be focused on getting the tricks right and I am mostly unaware of audience reaction.

It was good to see so many people in 'the house', and we even got a few other acts from other shows in to see what we were up to. Morgan, of Morgan and West, the different style magic act recently seen on Fool Us, was in and wrote on Twitter that I was brilliant. He obviously has such good taste!

A quick pack away of the props then off to do one trick at another venue, more or less to let people know I am in town before going for a very nice quiet dinner with Debbie and a stroll back to the flat through a warm, balmy night with streets full of happy people.

Debbie and I both made the same comments over dinner... 'isn't this exciting?' and 'isn't it great that there are no drunken yobs spoiling this incredible atmosphere?'.

You really should try to get to Edinburgh

The Edinburgh Fringe

2011-08-03T06:23:00.000-07:00

The booking agent asked me if I would like to do the Fringe again. It is about four years since I was here and I had such a good time I immediately agreed and asked him to send me all the details. Last time I goofed a bit in that I did a two hour one man show in the main body of a church and then ran up a church tower to do another one hour Max Malini show in a little room at the top. I didn’t know that everyone else in the main was doing about a 45 to 50 minute set. A lot of work but I can’t tell you how much fun I had.

This time I hope I have it right. I’m down to do a one hour set and this time I am in an adapted university lecture room. At least the audience can’t get at me ‘cos they are trapped behind long desk arrangements.

The planning and deciding what was going in what order started a long time back and then some of it had to go ahead in a van. Packing the car was an art in itself with two rabbits, hutch, two carriers, bags of food, straw, hay, sawdust, four suitcases, computers, printers, dvd copier and ALL the leads, cameras etc. I loaded it up whilst Debbie did Radio Berkshire on Sunday morning and then we left instructions about just about everything in the house ‘cos we never leave the house empty for long. Mind you, we could ‘cos everything is up here in Edinburgh with us. It took us a day and a half to get here.

Since then it’s been crazy. Interview after interview after interview interspersed with setting up the apartment we have rented. The stuff I brought for making the rabbits comfy isn’t really suitable so I have a sort of mobile apartment coming for them. Walking the streets to find the venue we met Dave Gorman and when we did find the right place Bobby Crush walked in and it turns out he is doing his Liberace show when we finish our ‘extravaganza’

On top of that is locating supermarkets, meeting the locals (who have all been REALLY nice), finding the best sandwiches I have ever had in a small cafe at the end of Infirmary Street... Stags.

As I write the world had got even dafter since the Sun published a headline that I was in hospital after being hit in the eye with a pizza thrown by Sooty. That mini accident happened over a month ago and on the day I should be getting ready for the show at 5 pm I have spent all my time explaining that I am NOT in hospital to journalists, TV shows, and radio shows. How silly but great publicity.

Today I don’t expect there will be many in the audience. It is, after all, Day One, early days and we are up against another 2,500 shows, but I am told that after that we are doing more than alright. It will be an interesting show as the tech crew start to learn what to do when I do whatever. I like shows like this rather than the super slick presentations (not that I have ever done one of those....).

One of the many bestest things about being here is meeting young actors, singers, comedians and the full panoply of show business who are starting out on the long road to success. Good luck to all.

Highs and Low Low Low

2011-07-13T01:11:00.000-07:00

The show in the marquee on the village green went VERY well and the responses were all positive and nice. It seems to be ages ago now since we did it but I can remember the reactions and the laughter. The event also raised much needed cash for the RNLI.

The guy who said he would help me on the day didn't turn up and I think I used muscles in my lower back that I hadn't used for years when I loaded the stuff into the back of my Isuzu. Those muscles reminded me constantly for about a week that I really do need help when picking up large boxes with illusions inside.

Actually, during the past month I seem to have been a disaster magnet. At the same time as the back pains I got a bug that was similar to Delhi Belly and Tutankhamun's Revenge rolled into one. I couldn't give in to it because Debbie and I were taking part in one of the highlights of our careers... filming an episode of the Sooty show. It's very strange but when you are on the set they cease to be puppets and you react to them as if they are real and alive.

Another disaster came when at the end of the day (thankfully) I took a serious crack in the eye and finished up in hospital! Debbie drove us home and so had to miss a party for her god-daughter.

A VERY long time ago I did a routine on TV where I threw a pack of cards at a picture on the wall of a pub and the previously chosen card was stuck behind the glass. Thanks to the wonder of the internet social sites a guy got in touch and asked if I would like the picture... he had kept it all these years. I drove over to near Ipswich and got it. I had forgotten what it looked like but once glance brought back the memories.

As well as mixing in a couple of days at the Henley Regatta, which is SO English and SO wonderful, with everyone dressed up for the occasion, I nipped up to Edinburgh to attend a Magifest and receive the Lafayette award for services to magic. That was so nice of them to think of me in that respect. It's a statuette of Lafayette's cherished dog, Beauty.

A good friend, now a resident of France, and formerly the producer of the long running 'Jim'll Fix It', Roger Ordish, stayed over for a couple of days and the house was filled with chat chat chat.

Then came, for me who is totally engrossed by the world of magic, a real 'high'. Thanks to the Portuguese magician Luis de Matos, we flew to Lisbon to take part in an online conference. Luis has the best studio/workshop/design set up I have ever seen and had laid the studio out like a political debate. 33 experts from all facets of magic were assembled and the lectures, Q and A sessions, videos etc were transmitted to magicians in 62 countries. A totally fascinating experience and one in which I was honoured to take part.

I told you in the title, Highs and Lows... today is a low. Last night one of the hutches had a door left open and we have lost one rabbit. I know we have not had them for very long but it is amazing how sad I feel. AND I feel so sorry for Debbie who has been hit very hard by the loss. In the past I have not understood how people could be so upset by the loss of a pet. I do now.

We have scoured the garden, left food and open cages and hutches. It has gone.

It's the Rainy Season

2011-06-18T01:47:00.000-07:00

After weeks of glorious sunshine, seemingly now forgotten by the bulk of the population, we have had days and days of really heavy rain. Some pundits seem surprised but not me. I know a very simple way for us to get a lot better weather. All we have to do is move Wimbledon to France. Problem solved.

I am having one of those times where I seem to be working very hard but not for any income, and you know how that hurts a Yorkshireman.

I enjoyed last weekend when I did two shows to raise funds for the Kenton Theatre in Henley upon Thames. Initially I was only going to do one show but the tickets oversold so instead of doing one soiree... I did two matinees. The weather was not good but everyone who booked seemed to enjoy visiting the lovely Fawley Court riverside mansion where I did excerpts from my presentation of the Malini Show. If you don't know the name do a search on Google for Max Malini who was the magician's magician.

As I tippy tap my way through this blog I am really supposed to be getting ready for the show on Sunday evening when I will be on the village green in a marquee raising funds for the RNLI. This will be a two hour show and I have pulled most of the myriad bits and pieces together onto the staircase.

What I do is put the individual small tricks each onto its own step, then move them up and down until I have the order that I want them in during the show. Then they are packed in that order ready to go onto the stage, backstage, or in my pockets.

The illusions are in the new large shed and in fact that came into its own this week when I was able to rehearse a new girl in one of the props inside the shed. Lots of room and head height, I should have done this years ago.

The rabbits are well but not too happy at being separated. I have had to do that or one of them might have got too fat to go into the hat. If you are very young and reading this, Mummy and Daddy will explain.

Time for a cuppa.

Times Change

2011-06-02T00:33:00.000-07:00

What a year this is for change in my life and, it would appear, for those around me. Some is good, some is bad.

In general the warehouses have been emptied and only the pick of the illusions remain, others will be rebuilt as and when they are needed. A large boat shed is now in the back garden with space at the back end for the big boxes in which illusions travel to the venues. It took years, literally, to sell the warehouses in the current financial climate but they have gone.

Apart from the odd one night stand I thought that I had finished touring as intensely as I have in the past but now not only am I doing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival every night in August that is followed by a 38 night tour. Have a look at the Tour Dates page on this site and you will see I will become a long distance driver doing tricks on the side!

I am also trying to have a change of boat. When Debbie and I were in Australia earlier this year we saw a boat and to my amazement Debbie really liked it. I put the Lovely Debbie McGee on the market and it sold remarkably quickly but now I can't get my hands on the boat we liked so I guess we will be touring the boatyards looking for something.

As I type this blog there are four men outside working reducing the height of some of our trees. They stand about 90 feet high and are too close to the house for comfort. It's amazing to watch a guy up that high moving from branch to branch with a chain saw. You really have to know what you are doing and watching him is like watching a circus act.

Also this morning we got the first two cygnets so the circle of life goes on. We sometimes think we have worries and woes but when something like that happens it reminds me that no matter what we do or what pains we feel, Mother Nature just keeps on going, and going, and going...

Boat for Sale, The Lovely Debbie McGee

2011-05-17T07:42:00.000-07:00

I have hummed and hawed over this for a long time now. Debbie and I own a lovely (and that is not just the name) old wooden boat called The Lovely Debbie McGee, named after the 'nickname cum catchphrase' that grew during our years of making The Paul Daniels Magic Shows for BBC TV.

Speaking of that I watched, yet again, the Two Ronnies TV show being repeated and once again wondered why the Beeb never repeated the incredibly popular magic shows, that had very similar ratings.

Any road up, as they say where I come from, back to the boat. She's a beaut and you may be wondering why I want to sell it. No real reason, we just fancy a change. If it sells, fine, if it doesn't, fine.

So what is she about? The Lovely Debbie McGee was built by the Val Wyatt boatyard in 1930/31 using, I think, oak and mahogany, and is canoe shaped. Amazingly, she is still berthed just a few hundred yards from where she was built.

The power comes from batteries and as she is electric, it's great to simply glide along almost silently and when fully charged runs for 8 to 9 hours, which gives you a good day out on the river.

Yes, she comes with a boat trailer, cushions, picnic baskets that I had made to fit, awning and is licensed for the River Thames for this year. She also has an up to date Boat Safety Scheme certificate.

Six people can easily sit in comfort for trips on the water.

Serviced and maintained by Paul Brownjohn of Henley she has never given me any problems. We unplug the charge lead, get in, switch on and off she goes.

I am looking for offers over £11,000 and offers below that will not be considered. Also, oddly perhaps, I have to like you before I will sell this cherished boat to you.

I hope you understand that last proviso... the money isn't everything.

If you have any questions.... just ask them via the comments section on this page.

7.9m long and the beam is 1.3m

Politics and Music

2011-05-15T00:17:00.000-07:00

As everyone who reads my scribblings knows, I am not 'into' music. I do, however, enjoy musicals and theatrical experiences and last night, having heard that Terry, oops sorry, Sir Terry Wogan, was no longer presiding over the Eurovision Song Contest I thought I would give it a few minutes of my life as I nibbled my dinner. (I know, I shouldn't sit hunched over a tray in the lounge, bad for digestion and all that jazz, but...)

Perhaps I should explain further about Terry before millions of you descend upon me. I thought he was the greatest radio presenter of them all, by far, it's just that I never really liked to watch him on TV and I didn't like the carping sarcasm when he covered the Eurovision stuff. If he really didn't like it, why did he take the money to cover it and then drag it down into a joke?

Whatever. I thought Dusseldorf did a great job of staging the contest. Sure, there were parts of it that were not to my taste, but then, I was watching differing cultures on my screen and at the very least I thought they were interesting. Certainly it made a nice change from the constant stream of cookery programmes.

Coming from outside the music business gives you a different outlook. Every singer in the contest (and it's supposed to be for the SONG) had dancers leaping about and a zillion lighting effects. I guess that must be for the 'vision' part of Eurovision but it did detract from the SONG.

Furthermore when it came to the 'judging' and the results something was GLARINGLY obvious. Countries voted for other countries within their regions or political areas and rarely gave a vote, or at best a low scoring vote, to those countries not in their area.

Surely, as this has been going on for years, the organisers must be aware of this and could take a major step to make the voting more balanced? At the moment you are not allowed to vote for your own country so why not extend that? Look at the history of the voting and the 'zones' leap off the screen. Daniels new rule would be that the organisers create zones, Scandinavian, Baltic, and so on, and you are not allowed to vote for anyone in your zone....

It was also politically interesting to see the AV system in operation, taking people to the top who didn't get the most top votes, just the most second and third votes. Hmmmm.....

p.s. I enjoyed most of them, thought Blue did a good job, liked Italy...

The Great Lafayette... cont.....

2011-05-10T07:55:00.001-07:00

So, it's about an hour to go to the show. I prepare the props for the last trick I will be doing, the money into the egg, lemon and walnut. I lay out everything that goes into the 'act box' and everything that goes into my pockets.

Time to get dressed and I do, loading my pockets, and setting the other stuff into the act box that I will be using throughout the show.

People keep coming in and asking me questions and I can sense their nervousness. I take a walk around the dressing rooms to wish everyone luck and to calm them down. I don't get nervous because I think the big stuff in the world, the wars caused usually by religious superstitions, are far more important than what I am going to do...

Next comes a walk and inspection of every single prop, making sure it is all set and in the right place. I know Scott will have done it, but I used to have a veteran Stage Manager and I learnt to check everything three times from him, forwards, backwards and forwards again.

I make sure the smoke machine is switched on. It belongs to the theatre and the crew will work it, but you never know...

Through the tabs, curtains to you, I can hear the audience buzz and I know that business is going to be pretty good. I am suddenly very tired. Others get nervous; I go to sleep!

Almost time so I start to breathe more rapidly, deliberately, to pump me up.

The PowerPoint style presentation, prepared by a member of the theatre staff starts on the big screen and goes wrong. I feel so sorry for her. An audience member shouts out 'Get a Mac' and everyone laughs, especially me 'cos if she had a Mac it would never have been put right :)

The presentation continues with great archive photographs and knowledge and as it ends I walk out of a smoke filled upper stage to pay tribute to the Great Lafayette with a real mixture of a magic show, a lot of which I have not done for years. The applause to welcome me feels great and I just know we are in for a great night.

My mouth clicks into action and after greetings I sail into a very old trick that I know, with the routine I wrote years ago, will get the audience shouting as I do what is known as the Six Card Repeat. The sound operator misses the cue at the end... it turns out he was too engrossed in the trick. A compliment, I think.

Behind me the amazing cloth with its painting of the Lafayette show on it, rises to reveal Debbie and, as always, she gets far more applause than me.

Debbie has a tiny tiny Doll's House and together we present this startling illusion and I hear the audience gasp as Sophie bursts out of it at the end.

I walk forward to present a numerical trick that ends in a prediction not only of the number the audience chose, but that number turns out to be the date that The Great Lafayette perished in the fire.

The curtain rises again, this time to reveal our version of Metamorphosis, a trick introduced by Harry Houdini, the friend of Lafayette and of course we have a twist at the end which leaves me 'front cloth' again to perform Dean's Box. To generate spontaneous applause I use a technique that I saw used by The Great Levante when I was a boy. It always works.

Next is Geometrix, an illusion not greatly loved by magicians but I altered the design years ago and apparently it is now a lot more baffling. When it ends I stay upstage with Sophie, who was in the box and as the curtain falls Debbie enters stage right to perform Multum in Parvo, which is a trick with milk. I couldn't see it but from comments afterwards and the sound of the applause I knew she had done well.

As she left the stage the lighting went into 'moody', the music became more mysterious and I was laid down and pushed into a coffin like box. Scott and the assistants, all wearing spooky costumes, ignited the box which fell apart on a lighting change to dramatically light the skeleton that I had become. We dropped the 'house tabs' to close the first half with the whole audience vividly reminded of what had happened 100 years ago.

During the interval the stage was cleared and reset for the second half of the show. Scott Penrose opened and I have not seen his act for some time. It's good. It's very good. Talking to him afterwards I became aware that he has no idea how good he is! Beautifully routined with a lovely climax which I won't spoil here. If you get the chance, see him.

I 'took him off' as they say and went into my Cup and Ball routine. It's become a signature tune for me. At the end one of the girls came and took the box off. Mistake. My fault because I had told her to do that, forgetting that I needed it later... but no embarrassment shown by me because that would have been a bigger mistake.

I talked about the fact that some of the staff believe they have seen the ghost of Lafayette and got a couple of guys out of the audience to take part in the Spirit Cabinet routine with Debbie as the 'medium'. Second mistake - I must be slipping - because I forgot to tell them to pick the cabinet up to show no-one was concealed inside it. The routine went well despite that however, although it was interesting to see that with changing times there was no-one near the front wearing a jacket, so we had to cut one section out of effect.

After that, for me, it was more or less, act as known with card in wallet, chair routine, and egg, lemon and walnut. I made as much as I could out of the two men on stage and they were great fun to be with.

I then introduced Scott Penrose to close the show performing my favourite illusion which, in the manner of Lafayette, included a costume change and transpositions leaving everyone on stage to take their bows. As we did that we all turned and acknowled the picture of the man we had come to remember, The Great Lafayette, and the house curtain came down to one helluvan ovation.

As Scott had said, in the West End they can take three weeks to set up a show like that and we had done it in a day and a half. More than 'done it'... it was a show to remember and to be proud of.

As I said when I started the previous blog... 'two nights ago I was a Star...' I love Show Business

The Great Lafayette and an Upside Down Cow

2011-05-09T00:27:00.000-07:00

Two nights ago I was a Star...

Following on from the last blog and the interest shown by the comments I received on Twitter and Facebook, I thought you might be further interested by a deeper look into the life of an itinerant conjurer.

A couple of months ago I was asked to do a tribute show to the Great Lafayette. If you are from outside the world of magic then simply do a Google search and you will find a fascinating story of a man whose show was sold out 10 years in advance and who, if you convert the money of 1911 into today's currency, was earning somewhere between 3 and 4 million pounds a year. Remember this was before sales of DVDs or arenas!

Of course, for a one night stand, it was completely uneconomical to recreate his show, complete with horse and full grown lion as well as a lot of assistants. No, this just had to be a doffing of the hat to his memory, informing the audience, and entertaining them with illusions that, where possible, would give the feeling of what he got up to in his show. Transpositions and quick changes had to be included. His friend was Harry Houdini, so there should be something from that great escape artist in there too.

Studying the show I found that some of his magical sketches would last 25 minutes, far too slow for today's high speed audiences.

I decided on a range of illusions and asked Scott Penrose, vice President of the Magic Circle, to help with the show as well as to appear in it. Scott has a large collection of illusions and great knowledge of their use in West End shows.

Debbie was seconded to sort out costumes and I asked Paul Moran, who is part of the Van Morrison set up, and Keith Maxon my ex Musical Director for help with the creation of special bits of music.

One of the problems was that I was to do a show in the upside down cow on the South Bank in London, the Udderbelly, two nights before the Lafayette show and logistically it was not easy.

Slowly stuff was building up in my sheds and garage and on the morning of the Udderbelly show Scott came with a van and we loaded it up for him to get on the road. Sophie Wilkins (my daughter in the pantomime) was going to travel up with him to be an assistant in the show and they got on the road on time. Good. Then I packed the Isuzu Trooper with the stuff I needed for the Udderbelly and went into London. Thankfully Les Williams turned out to help unload and fit up (I am still not allowed to lift stuff).

That show was great fun to do even though it had different elements in it from my normal shows, and the audience even gave me a standing ovation.... rare from the British, but gratefully appreciated. There is a review at http://t.co/7Vt6zCO which is Steve Stubbs great site http://www.backstagepass.biz if that link didn't work.

Packed the Isuzu, went home, but had to be up at 4.30a.m to pack a few bits from that show that I needed in Edinburgh for the Lafayette show before heading to the airport.

We got to Edinburgh late morning and the unpacking of the truck began. The Festival Theatre, built on the site of the theatre that burnt down, is HUGE. The stage is ENORMOUS. I closed it down a lot by using black curtains and the theatre had made a PowerPoint presentation of the Lafayette story. By teatime we had put most of the stuff together and placed it in the wings in what we thought would be the best places for ease of access. Scott and Sophie were great at helping and never stopped working for the whole of the two days we were there. I cannot thank them enough.

The staff and the crew of theatre couldn't do enough for us. That night we had dinner and had no trouble sleeping at all..... until I remembered I hadn't worked out the maths for one of the tricks!

We were early into the theatre the next morning to carry on with the fit up and also to train Sophie and the two local girls who were going to assist. Neither of them were professional dancers and it was tough for them to learn. I am sure they must have been very confused by some of what was going on.

Chris Davis turned up from our management and he was going to control the show from the Stage Manager's desk by the side of the stage. We ran through all the cues, audio and lighting, and made adjustments. Regular readers know I do not listen to music so I kept my fingers crossed on the audio CD I had put together, but it seemed fine.

The theatre had found a fabulous front cloth which was a reproduction of a scene in the Lafayette show and with about an hour and a half to go, we started to put the props back in order....

In the next blog I'll tell you about the show...

The Birth of a Show

2011-04-27T22:02:00.000-07:00

This is, yet again, one of those strange times of my life where I look ahead to many different kinds of shows that I have to do. I spend most of my days in dreamland where I try to see the routines in my imagination and put those routines into an order that I think will build the show into an entertaining time for an audience.

The great Ken Dodd once asked me, in a routine we were doing together, to change the wording slightly in the tag line of the joke and I asked him why. 'I don't know why' he said, 'I just know it will be better.' He was right and I hope now that I have acquired long experience, that I, too, will 'just know'.

When I am on stage I don't think the audiences are aware of all the tiny props and bits and pieces that all have to be packed when I set off to do a show. An example would be when people talk about one of my 'signature' routines where some borrowed money finishes up in a walnut that is inside an egg that is inside a lemon. At best they remember some of the stuff the money was inside. What they don't realise is all the props they saw along the way to that ending: a handkerchief, a wand, a drinking glass, a teaspoon, a single edged razor blade, a roll of kitchen paper, a pair of nutcrackers, a walnut, an egg (careful packing needed), a lemon, a box to hold everything together... See what I mean?

Every routine has a list like this and if one prop is missing, forgotten, then the whole routine can fall apart or even have to be left out of the show.

I am putting the production of a rabbit from a hat back into the show because I have had so many requests to do it again. That meant heading off round the M25 to buy a couple of minilop rabbits, cute as hell with blue eyes, put together a hutch that is bigger than some apartments I have lived in, hay, wood chips, specialist food, as well as the 'treats' like carrots. The comedy table has had to have a complete overhaul, being repainted and the gimmicks all made to work again. It also needed new curtains for the front. I am hoping to do this at the Udderbelly show next week on the South Bank of the Thames, and it still isn't completely ready.

Two nights after that I will be performing at the Festival Theatre in Edinburgh and logistically that is a nightmare of organising vans, air tickets, clothing for the 6 people in the show, as well as the illusions and all the small bits for the tricks we will be doing that will be unique to that show.

And you thought I only did an hour a night....

Hazy, Lazy Daze of Summer

2011-04-20T07:04:00.000-07:00

Pun intended.

For the last couple of days, one has not been feeling too well dear hearts. Definitely under the weather and the doctor has said that I have developed an infection somewhere in my system whilst having the operation. All I know is that my 'get up and go' has 'got up and gone'.

This could not have happened at a worse time; I have so much to do but I can't do any of it. Debbie came with me into London yesterday to do a voice over job for a trailer for a cartoon. Don't laugh, but I was a butterfly from Middlesbrough...

Being trapped for most of the time, and sleeping at odd hours, it has been interesting to watch the antics in the creek that runs under the house where two swans have set up home. Egyptian Geese, Mallards, and Coots have all tried to move in but the swans keep coming back and clearing them out of their nest.

Last year they built a nest in the same place and stuck all kinds of twigs into the 'building'. Some of them have taken root and I can see I am going to have to remove most of them because they are willow trees, and they will block the waterway and interfere with my neighbour's apple trees.

I hope you are all feeling great.

The Chronicals of Hernia

2011-04-16T02:31:00.000-07:00

The title to this piece is stolen from a very funny book by Barry Cryer. Well I've got news for you mate.... Hernias are not funny!

It's Saturday, only two days since the operation and I don't feel so good. No pain, I just don't feel right, so I decided to bravely have a look at what they got up to whilst I was asleep. Big mistake. Now I feel worse. I have six holes in my body. Al Capone's mob couldn't have done better with a machine gun. Four in my belly (since they distended it I can't call it my stomach) and two in my arm. No wonder my body is asking what the hell is going on.

I have also read my instructions, no lifting, no driving, a little walking. I am in prison and meandering up and down the patio as if it is the prison yard. Patio sounds posh but I know it is Spanish for back yard, so it doesn't impress me.

Apparently, whilst I was in the land of Nod, they inject some sort of gas into the tummy and blow it up like a football. That gas exits the body in the usual way and I am now doing the longest farts of my life. I asked the doctor if this was normal but pointed out that thankfully they don't smell.

He has told me that the long very noisy farts are normal but now they are going to operate again, this time on my nose, to find out why I think they don't smell......

Hernia - It's a real pain

2011-04-15T07:11:00.000-07:00

Well actually, my hernias were not a real pain but the doc said they might become one so I decided to get them sorted 'cos I had a couple of weeks to recover. In a went at about 11 a.m and was dashed into surgery at 5 p.m. Apparently they have to make sure you haven't eaten or drunk anything but water.

The staff were all very nice, somebody scraped the back of my hand and I felt nothing until I was on the way back down to my room. I woke up at about 1 a.m. the next morning and then went more or less straight back to sleep until about 5 a.m. Apparently they had filled me up with pain killers so I felt fine. Actually I still felt fine until they gave me more painkillers and all I feel now is sleepy all the time.

Debbie picked me up and brought me home but I am BANNED from lifting ANYTHING for about 4 weeks to make sure I don't, literally, bust a gut. Humph. I find that very annoying. I am not used to doing nothing.

So now I am down to waiting a couple of days until this strange niggly feeling in my tummy settles and then it will be days of planning, organising and arranging the madness of the coming year.

I will be doing the Udderbelly on 5th May and the Lafayette show at the Festival Theatre in Edinburgh on the 7th May and I will be letting helpers do all the lifting that I would normally do myself.

For those visiting Edinburgh (you all should) in August my box office number there is 0131 623 3030 for the shows I will be doing EVERY afternoon at 5 p.m.

Soon I will have sorted the tour dates for after that and I'll let you know.

England this England

2011-04-14T00:08:00.000-07:00

We got home, and even through Heathrow, remarkably quickly and walked through the door to face hundreds of letters, bills, greeting cards, and they all had to be left whilst I hit the bed. I still don't sleep on planes.

It was soon back to work after checking around the family to make sure they were more than OK. The coming year doesn't exactly bring a lot of public shows (about 60) but they all demand differing styles and props and attitude and music and so there is a lot of planning and organising to be done. I have started on that and am currently working with Scott Penrose on the Lafayette show for Edinburgh on May 7th.

Catching up with the news was also interesting. For too many years I have been saying that the Conservatives, who always have to clean up after Labour have gone, NEVER communicate with the masses, and so the masses turn against them. Now the Health Minister has apologised for not explaining his plans properly.

I think the Conservatives, having discussed it all in Cabinet meetings, forget that we don't hear the build up to the decision and they assume we will understand.

What I am amazed at is that people have forgotten so quickly the VAST amount of debt the Labour party accumulated, giving us the false impression that all was well whilst they were borrowing billions from China. Weird.

Today isn't going to be the best day of my life 'cos I am going into hospital for a hernia operation. Actually, I have two of them so being from Yorkshire I am having a BOGOF deal... buy one get one free..... and they are going to do them both at the same time. Trust me to go 'over the top' and have a stereo job done.

I will be asleep for a couple of hours (no need for drugs... jet lag will deal with that problem) and may be/should be home this evening. Yes, it's a worry, but then I think of all my friends who have so much more to worry about. It will be good to get rid of yet another niggling problem.

I look forward to wandering around with one of those backside revealing gowns that they give you, even when they are going to work on your front bits.

Have fun

Blog Time

2011-04-08T18:07:00.001-07:00

As I type this I am umpteen thousand feet above sea level and probably somewhere over America. We are on the way home and that brings very mixed emotions. When last I blogged we were somewhere in the Pacific, or rather, on the Pacific. We have all looked at maps, Atlases, perhaps even flown over that ocean but believe me, until you have sailed across it you have no idea how vast it is. To hear the Captain say how many hundreds of miles you are from the nearest land, or that there are 5,300 metres of water below the keel, to watch day after day as water flows past the ship, brings an astonished awareness of how puny we are in our world.

After Honolulu we went to another Hawaiian island, Kona. Someone said that there are over 800 coffee growers on the island and certainly in the USA Kona coffee is everywhere. As we stepped ashore we were met by Deepa, one of them and in my opinion, together with her husband Joe, far and away the best of them. Try to get some Kona Joe coffee if you can. You’ll thank me.

We left Kona with deep regrets at the shortness of our stay. I love Kona, but we had to set sail for Los Angeles and that meant more long days at sea. After what seemed a very long time one morning I woke to see that we were heading into Los Angeles and in the past I had always flown in. Coming in by sea is so much better. The mainland of America has a unique feeling, a unique excitement buzzes through me and soon we said our goodbyes to the wonderful Saga Ruby and its great crew and were in a taxi to one of our favourite hotels, the Beverly Hilton.

The porters, Concierge and Reception staff all remembered us (where we really that bad last time?) and we checked in to our room, only to overnight there before flying on to Las Vegas (Lost Wages?). Even so we found time to have dinner with Ross King and his beautiful partner and stayed up far too late laughing into the night. On this trip Debbie (who is asleep on the plane at the moment by the way) had booked us into the Venetian but the reception staff had looked on my web site and upgraded us to a suite in the Palazzo. No kidding, you could go on holiday to Vegas, book into either of these conjoining hotels, and never have to leave their buildings.

We did, of course, to go to the Mall, and to see Le Reve at the Wynn/Encore, a show I can recommend. I know magicians think I am nuts not going to see the magic shows, but I can learn so much more from the non-magic presentations.

Both Debbie and I simply love to walk around Vegas and people watch and feel the buzz that is non-stop in that city. There is nowhere else like it.

April 2^nd was our 23^rd Wedding Anniversary (I can’t believe it) and to celebrate we went to the Sinatra Restaurant in the Wynn/Encore and it was perfect. A lot of the meal was spent looking out into the garden dining area through the glass wall. In the evening the wind had got up and yet there was an older couple out there having dinner despite her hair gusting vertically upwards, napkins flying away, menus leaving the table horizontally. Everyone indoors was watching them and we all gave them a round of applause when they came in at the end.

The next night we had dinner with one of our long-time magic friends, now out of the magic game, Mia, formerly of Petrick and Mia and it was so good to see her doing so well and looking so good.

We even managed to link up with two of the nicest people in magic ever, Norm Nielsen and his lovely partner Lupe. Another meal of laughter and we couldn’t have found better companions with whom to spend time. These are great days.

Back to Los Angeles, back to the Beverly Hilton, and together with Ross and his partner we were invited to dinner by one of the most successful choreographer/producers of the last decades, who took us to the Fig and Olive Restaurant and then on to the Club which has to have the best possible view of the City. Far too late that night..........................again.

April 6^th dawned and yet again a birthday has crept up on me. When will I start to feel my age? Not for a long time I hope. I woke before Debbie only to find that she had draped the bedroom with the longest Happy Birthday banner I have ever seen. Trying not to disturb her I went onto the laptop and was deeply moved by the, literally, dozens and dozens of greetings from family, friends and fans. Whilst I was checking those Debbie went to the bathroom and I had not noticed that in the night she had filled the shower with balloons and she came out waving them like a cheerleader’s pompoms, dancing and singing Happy Birthday.

We spent a lovely easy going day mooching around Rodeo Drive and then, after an unbelievably wonderful week at the end of a great world wide trip, came the best night of them all.

Debbie had been in email conference with another great couple, Pete Biro and his wife Linda and they had organised a restaurant for a birthday party. Il Cielo is a 26 year old eatery in Beverly Hills. One of the rooms used to be salon where Marilyn Monroe went to have her hair done. This was beautifully appointed and Pete, Linda and the staff had taken SO much trouble; I will never forget this evening.

The guests were, in no order at all, Carol (Debbie’s cousin) and her husband, (non magicians), Gay Blackstone, widow of the late great Harry Blackstone, Irene Larsen, (the Larsens were major movers in the setting up of the Magic Castle in Hollywood), Maria Lafay (who we always call the Hat, ‘cos she is never without one when we meet at magic conventions), Pete and Linda of course, John Gaughan, the creator and restorer of so much of magic and there is no one better, and finally that great actor and writer and one of the best close up magicians I have seen, Steve Valentine with his wife who had to bring along their future child.

The banter, the food, that ambience.....................life was perfect.

Now we are headed home. Thank you Debbie, for being simply the best.

Cruising on the Saga Ruby

2011-03-25T12:36:00.000-07:00

Ships Log Day One 13 March 2011

The Saga Ruby docked today in Auckland and we were able to board her at about 1700hrs. We have a nice large cabin (they call it a suite) with a balcony. Debbie has been unpacking for about an hour and I have unpacked my laptop. That’s about right in the nature of things.

The previous occupants of this cabin, oops, suite, bent the earth springs in the sockets so one of the cabin stewards, Rod, shoved a screwdriver in to bend it back. DIY rules.

The first thing I saw on the TV was a documentary on underwater exploration and featured the Titanic. At the same time the butler, Noli, put two lifejackets on the bed. What are they trying to tell me?

Of course I asked Noli about the tsunami, seeing as how the media has been awash with it. (Yes I KNOW it’s a pun). Although it was awful in Japan, this ship never felt it at all as it sailed from Australia to New Zealand, which is where we are as I type this.

I already know I will be doing my first show on board the night after tomorrow. Good, I will have time to sort out the rubbish I call entertainment and put it into some kind of order.

After dinner I will familiarise myself with the layout of the ship, have a look at the theatre/performance space, and set out my daily timetable for my time on the ship. I intend to be a good boy and stick to a regime that will let me enjoy the voyage but also get some serious work done. When I get back home in about four weeks time I will be SO organised. I will I will I will.

2145 and we have had a very nice dinner, met up with one of the lecturers on the ship and his wife, walked round the ship, played a bit of table tennis and now back in the cabin ready for beddibyes.

Ship Log Day Two 14 March 2011

Spent most of the morning in Auckland, wandering round the shops and finding out that one of my Canon lenses is not going as wide as it should. Then we came back on board and ‘checked out’ with the immigration guys ready for the ship leaving the port. Did the safety drill and then watched the shoreline as we sailed off on the next leg of this ship’s world cruise. It will be over 1100 nautical miles to the next landfall. Just imagine, ships used to do this stuff only with sails.

I am always overwhelmed with sadness when I leave a port. Will I ever see this country again? Who knows? I always feel so mortal and aware of life’s short span when I want to live forever and visit everywhere again and again.

We have cleared the harbour; the pilot has stepped onto his own boat and left us and we head out across the Pacific Ocean. It’s a beautiful balmy evening.

Ship Log Day Three 15 March 2011

Morning has broken and it’s a bit cloudy. Fantastic ‘solid’ rainbow seems to be following us. Quite a calm sea with very little movement as I walk about. This evening I have to do a show but FAR more importantly it is my son Gary’s birthday and I have no way of communicating with him. Yes, I did send messages and cards and all that jazz before we sailed but it’s not the same as hearing his voice on the day. L

Tonight I will be performing in a ballroom type venue and this will not be what I call my ‘best’ show. Experience has taught me that if I do the best one first, my other shows are then held up for comparison, so tonight will be an introductory show where we will get to know each other whilst I perform a wide range of magic tricks. We shall see!

A lot of complimentary booze has arrived in our cabin. Such a waste as I rarely drink. Debbie will get a surprise when she comes back from the gym.

I am now back in the cabin after the show. I am not happy. It seemed very quiet to me but Debbie says they were all laughing in the right places so perhaps it is one of those rooms, which I have worked before, where the sound of the room does not reach the stage. Certainly people were very complimentary afterwards so it would seem to be only me that didn’t enjoy it.

Tomorrow is another full day at sea.

Ship’s Log Day Four 16^th March 2011

Nice and warm, cloud coming and going with blue skies in between. I am typing this on the balcony of our cabin.

Most annoying thing yesterday was realising that one of our cases had gone missing and we suspect it is still in the Rydges Hotel in Auckland. We left some luggage in their holding area when we nipped across to OZ and we think they forgot to get it out when we left for good. Darned annoying ‘cos I had hoped to edit some videos that I had in that bag. I have sent an email.

Emails to and from a ship are really slow. When I have finished these notes I am going to see if I have got a reply. You can’t get them on your laptop when you are at sea, only on the ship’s computers, so I will make the journey into the bowels of the ship.

It seems so odd, when we are 200 miles from the nearest land, and that is just a tiny atoll, to see birds skipping across the waves. They look like gulls of some kind. The Captain has told us the sea below the keel is 4,000 metres deep. My brain can’t seem to fathom that...

Debbie went to the library and got us a DVD to watch because it started to rain. It was a very old Joan Crawford movie set in Pago Pago, and we’ll be there soon. The movie was called Rain, so we had the stuff on the screen and on the balcony.

After that we watched a talk about where we are going tomorrow and apparently we will be sailing in through a gap in the reef and berthing in Savo in Fiji. Two things of interest were that the Methodist Church leaders have been imprisoned for disagreeing with the Government (THAT wasn’t on our news, was it?) and also that Raymond Burr, of Ironsides fame, lived here and had a huge garden featuring, literally, thousands of orchids. The clocks will go back an hour tonight.

Ship’s Log Day Five 17^th March 2011

We woke up early today to see us sail into Fiji. A cloudy day and yet we could see the main island clearly and I was surprised at how large it was. For some reason I have always thought of the Fijian Islands as small and most of them are, but not Fiji.

The advertised gap in the reef was a bit of a disappointment as the reef surrounding the island just about pokes its head above the ripples. There’s not much to see or do in Suva, the town, either, and it is the only place on earth I have found where I can’t log onto a free hotspot for wi-fi. Even McDonalds didn’t have it and there isn’t a Starbucks. What???? No Starbucks? Unbelievable.

The ship sailed early and we are now headed for Pago Pago. It has rained quite a bit but we shouldn’t complain. This is the cyclone belt but we haven’t seen one and we don’t want to see one.

Ship’s Log Day Six 17^th March 2011

Groundhog Day. Check this day’s date with yesterday. It’s the same. We are having a 48 hour long St. Patrick’s Day because in the night we crossed the International Date Line and so we gained an extra day.

Very pleasant at 85 degrees with a breeze to keep us cool. We will be all day at sea today. All the reception staff are in Leprechaun outfits, to be sure.

As I type this, in the afternoon, we are passing a very large island but there is no phone signal coming from it so I have no means of communication, again. Think of the months that sailors in olden days would be totally incommunicado. How things have changed.

Perhaps I should have mentioned this before but this ship is by far the steadiest ship in similar waters that we have been on . Admittedly we have only been in 1 to 2 metre swells but you really can’t feel it and there is no sideways rocking at all.

She used to be the Coronia and the Vista Fjord before becoming the Saga Ruby.

Ship’s Log Day Seven 18^th March 2011

What a very nice day. Great weather and we docked early in Pago Pago which is American Samoa. As we left the ship we were immediately surrounded by a great market of Polynesian clothing and souvenirs with no pestering to buy or to get into this or that taxi. The people are truly friendly and helpful and I did tricks for the children that we met along the way.

The little museum was fantastically interesting and they had a good collection of wooden canoes, all fitted with outriggers.

We found an internet cafe and managed to get a couple of messages off to Debbie’s family but the island has its own telephone system so we couldn’t phone anyone. Talk about being cut off from the world.

Sadie Thompson’s Hotel was where we had a couple of drinks. Look her up if you don’t know who she is; it’s a long time since she was made famous by Somerset Maugham and Hollywood.

Funniest realisation of the day? We saw some Samoan women in one of the open sided huts all sitting on the floor and obviously engaged in some ‘artistic’ pursuit. From a slight distance they seemed to have some form of paintbrush in their hands so we thought they may be stamping patterns onto material. Being me I got nosey and went into the hut. They were playing Bingo and marking off their numbers.

I’m not sure how the locals get along with computers and suchlike because I couldn’t buy a memory stick anywhere.

Back on the boat it was great to see a couple of long canoes in action as they rowed past with 36 oars each flashing across the blue waters of the harbour. We will sail soon, but this is one island that I felt I could live on quite happily.

Now.... party time as we go to a chap’s 60^th birthday party in another cabin. Oh, the wild life we lead.

Ship’s Log Day Seven 18^th March 2011

After dinner last night Debbie and I were on stage telling stories of our lives and I felt a bit guilty afterwards because I hardly let her get a word in. All the questions seemed geared to me and that is a shame because Debbie has had a very interesting life. Afterwards we went into a piano bar and I did card tricks for the bar staff.

I didn’t sleep to well last night so I got up at about 2am and went down to the Lido cafe where they leave facilities for making your own drinks and I wandered the wet decks with a mug of hot chocolate. The decks are wet, by the way, not from rain but from the crew working through the night washing the ship down.

So it was that I was sound asleep at 8am when Noli, the butler, woke me with breakfast and I had my corn flakes, boiled egg and toast on the balcony. At some time in the night we crossed the Equator and are back in the Northern Hemisphere.

It’s warm with fluffy white clouds against the blue sky and once again a rainbow arced against a cloud in the distance. I sat on the recliner on the balcony and went to sleep only to be woken by a couple of crew members servicing one of the lifeboats that hang alongside our deck. Debbie has gone to the gym.

Ship’s Log Day Eight 19^th March 2011

I was wrong. We haven’t crossed the Equator yet. The stars are still those of the Southern Hemisphere. Why can’t I sleep at night? I spend the days in a constant state of napping and I guess that means that I only do the same at night.

One big difference about being on here is that we do have conversations with strangers, something you tend not to do when you are at home.

This will be another long day at sea. This ocean is a damn sight bigger than you realise. Huge.

I wrote those last few sentences in the night. Now it is morning, the fluffy white clouds again dot around the blue sky and still the ship ploughs on through the waves. I slept in .... again... and I see the butler has left a breakfast for me but I think I will pass on that one. Today I must get my head for sale to magicians and will contain some of my best kept secrets.

Sometimes people think that they ‘know’ the secret of a trick and then copy what I have done, but they get it so wrong because they do not understand the subtleties and the psychology in the creation and the presentation. Hopefully this book will take a step towards redressing that situation.

Later... I plead guilty to only writing one chapter. All I have done is slob around the ship, fill in forms trying to get my missing suitcase back, watch Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman in Indiscreet and marvel at their astonishing acting abilities. Ingrid Bergman once came to see my show in the West End and in my dressing room told me how wonderful I was and all I could mumble was a sort of ‘but, but, but’ sound. I think it was Isabella Rosselini who was with her.

I am going to install a ship’s engine under our house when I get back and sleep my days away like I do on here. Well, look at that, the clocks have gone forward again this afternoon and it’s time to eat.... again.

Ship’s log Day Ten 21^st March 2011

What happened to Day Nine Paul? Nothing really. It was, like today, another day at sea with no sight of land or anything else.

Today is very similar with nothing much to report other than now we have 5,200 metres of water below the keel. That’s quite a hole in the earth, isn’t it! I do have stuff to do though because tonight I have to do a cabaret show. That means unpacking the magic bits and pieces and deciding what to perform and which order to do it in.

The show went well, very well in fact, even thought it was not my normal selection of tricks. Somehow I still managed to ad lib my way through the material and made best use of the passengers. Saga cruises don’t have young people on board, but they are generally a great bunch and appreciative.

Afterwards we went up to the bar at the top of the ship and Paul the singer and Jo the Cruise Director put on an impromptu performance. Good stuff to end the night. Jo, by the way, is easily the best Cruise Director I have ever worked with.

Ship’s Log Day Eleven 22^nd March 2011

Well what a to-do. We were supposed to enjoy the lack of delights on Fanning’s Island (look it up). The Tannoy announcements had told us that the tenders were going to take us ashore to a place that had no toilets, no electricity, no medical facilities and so on. Good news for the husbands in that there were no shops and the inhabitants, non English speaking, relied on three supply ships a year.

The seabed falls away very steeply from the shoreline and goes far too deep to drop an anchor. The Ruby was to ‘hover’ all day whilst the passengers visited what turned out to be a huge atoll and were asked not to take sweets ashore as the islanders had dental problems. Lots of passengers bought colouring books, crayons, toys and the like for the kids and I don’t know what they will do with them now because the wind was too strong to get passengers onto the tenders and we had to sail on by. Such a shame.

It’s been a tad rougher all afternoon and apparently we are going to be in a cloudy rainy shower situation for the next two days.

1100 miles to our next port of call. Dinner tonight with the Captain.

Later... the dinner was really good, and good stories from the Captain and his wife and Jo the Cruise Director. Bedtime now, although I do seem to have slept for most of today.

Ship’s Log Day Twelve 23^rd March 2011

Overcast and still rolling a bit but the wind is warm out on the balcony. This will be another long day at sea. The ship has a library which includes DVDs so all I seem to do is either sleep or watch Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, Rita Hayworth... To my surprise I find myself more ‘hooked’ into these films and their scenarios than I do into modern films.

A couple of things of interest, perhaps, on this endless sea: this morning we saw a flock, or a shoal, of flying fish. They do travel amazing distances over the water and you have to imagine that they must do it for fun.

The other thing is that twice now, on this voyage, we have been completely stumped by a crossword clue and I, the great sleeper on the ship, have both times woken up saying the answer. So perhaps I do my best work whilst I am asleep.

After dinner Debbie and I went to see a remake of South Pacific in the Ship’s Theatre. We left a third of the way through and went back to the cabin. I saw Glenn Close’s name as an Executive Producer on the credits at the beginning. That was the only way she could have ever given herself the part of Nellie Forbush. Ms Close is a really good actress, but this was so misguided as she was far too old for the part. Bloody Mary did not have the charm of the original. The sailors, who had according to the plot, been on the island for months, were astonishingly white and lacked tans. To be avoided if the film comes your way in any form.

Ship’s Log Day Thirteen 24^th March 2011

Last night was a bit rough. At about 4am all the bottles on the sideboard went over, taking the glasses with them, making an almighty crash. Debbie and I struggled to find light switches in the dark and eventually laid towels over the heaps to stop them rattling for the rest of the night. Then I slept, as they say, fitfully.

It might be something to do with the time difference. For example right now it is 1150am but it is 2150 in the UK.

I see in the morning newsletter the great Elisabeth Taylor has died. Another one gone. For the benefit of any young person this woman could not only act with great onscreen presence, but was also startling beautiful. It may surprise the modern audience to realise she was a brunette, as most screen ‘beauties’ are blonde.

Death is an oddity, isn’t it? We hardly ever, if ever, talk about it yet all of us must realise it is coming. We are so very disposable. Although I have no fear of death (because I think it will be just like going to sleep, and I can’t remember doing that at all, I just go into oblivion) I do feel frustration at having to die. Being the nosey parker that I am I want to know what is going to happen. My father was exactly the same.

I have just been talking to Roderick, one of the two Philippine men who clean the cabins. Every night he phones his wife and two children back home. He is at sea for 11 months at a time and misses his family tremendously. He says Skype has made a big change to him but it’s still not good, is it?

Hey, I finished the crossword today. Am I getting clever or is it getting easier?

This afternoon is overcast so we watched Pal Joey before Deb went off to Pilates. I do not believe there is a better delivery of a song that Frank Sinatra singing ‘That’s why the Lady is a Tramp’ in that movie. The presentation is SO cool.

Sent from Honolulu

It's going to be a Busy Year

2011-03-05T05:08:00.000-08:00

Posted from the Heathrow VIP lounge.... (I told you I was!)

The last few weeks have been so very hectic. Up and down the country like a yo-yo, meetings to sort out the coming year, what a kerfuffle.

The biggy is that the warehouses and containers are now all empty and that site is now sold. Yippee. It has taken 3 years, but it's over. All the illusions have gone to good homes and I know will be refurbished and cared for.

That's important because quite a few of them are unique in the world of magic and it would have been awful if I had to destroy them. I do wish however that I could have done the loading up on a warmer days; it was freezing up there near Doncaster in open countryside. Now my only reason to visit that area will be to visit Lewis and Camilla, my grandchildren... and there's no better excuse than that.

If you look at the dates listed on this website you will see that I am having to do a lot of organising of props and posters and leaflets and accommodation for the coming shows. It's a very interesting list but when you take on a tour, as I have in the Autumn, you can only pray to the Gods that the media and the theatre managers will let everyone in their areas know that a completely different style of comedy show is going arrive in their venue.

Good news for me is that both Debbie and Martin will be on tour with me and that will make for a much better show.

The Udderbelly show (that's a 500 seater upside down inflatable cow) will be me on my own.

The Lafayette show two days later will be me, Debbie and Scott Penrose.

The Fringe show will be me and Debbie.

The tour, at the moment, will be me, Debbie and Martin.

What a good year to look forward to.

Not only that, we are now in the lounge at Heathrow waiting to go to New Zealand, Australia, back to New Zealand, across the South Seas visiting places like Pago Pago, Fiji and Hawaii before getting to Los Angeles and Las Vegas. I am so glad I learnt those card tricks!

Illusions

2011-02-05T14:39:00.000-08:00

NOTE AS AT 10th February:

I have now received an offer to buy all the illusions below at their listed price so if you are keen to buy one or all of them, that is the price to beat. Good Luck.

P.S. An American friend visited last night and could not believe how cheaply these are priced. I agreed but I need the space by the end of next week.

So now I am coming to the end of the magic that I have stored for so many years and I fear the ending is not going to be easy for me.

Today, for example, one of my favourite illusions failed to meet its reserve price and so it will go to the bonfire. I don't believe I should let these items go for nothing even though they do need a lick of paint in some cases.

Magicians have asked me what there is left of the big stuff so here is the list.

A. THE BACKSTAGE ILLUSION

This is my own design (and my father built it) of a very well known 'plot' wherein the magician performs a quite baffling illusion to produce a girl. Using any excuse (a special treat for someone in the audience, the musical director's birthday, whatever) the magician says that he will show everyone how it is done because he isn't going to ever do it again, so why not? He will even face the other way so that they will see it in detail.

The curtains open and indeed there is even an audience on the backcloth (not supplied) and the magician performs the whole routine again. Normally there are two boxes involved and the real audience get to see the girl crawling about. In my version it is much more comfortable for the assistant because there is only one upright box.

You can see the routine here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7B0lf_CR0A and it is interesting to note that the two 'stagehands' sweeping up are Ali Bongo and Gil Leaney, bless 'em both.

Offers over £650 to danillusions@gmail.com Note that this email address is only used for this illusion sale and will be inactive after 10 days.

B. THE TRIPLE TRUNK MYSTERY

In the 1930s a magician called George Grimmond appeared at the Magic Circle with three nesting wooden trunks. He let the members examine the boxes, which they did very closely, and then he was locked into the first trunk which was leather strapped round and fitted with four locks on the OUTSIDE of the solid lid. This was then lifted into the second trunk and that was strapped and locked before being lifted into the third and outer trunk.

This, too, was strapped and locked and a cloth cabinet (like the Spirit Cabinet) was then pulled around it and in a remarkably short space of time he was out of it all, and it could immediately be examined. It's a great idea.

The years go by, George got to be elderly, and he offered it to me to do on the Paul Daniels Magic Show. I had a problem in that I was claustrophobic and this does give you nightmares. Anyway I rehearsed it and did it on the show. On that show we invited a furniture expert from the BBC's Antique Road Show to examine the boxes. That's how sure I was no one would find the secret. Warning, I am only 5'6" and reasonably slim. George quite rightly had the crates made to fit him and he was smaller than me. I was CRAMMED in there and anyone who buys these original boxes will have to be of similar build or teach an assistant to do the escape. IF these get sold, then I will teach the purchaser myself.

Offers over £600 to danillusions@gmail.com Note that this email address is only used for this illusion sale and will be inactive after 10 days.

C. THE STEEL LINED COFFIN

I had this especially made for the Paul Daniels Magic Show and it is HEAVY. A clean looking wooden box is shown and the audience examine it. A steel lining, obviously one piece, is lowered into the outer wooden case and the magician climbs inside it. A steel lid is placed onto the top and I had assistants with rechargeable electric drills with spanner socket heads tighten nuts down onto the studs.

Now the wooden lid was lowered onto those nuts, sealing them in and hasps were fitted with locks.

All of this was done on the two (supplied) wooden supports so that when the short curtained cabinet was closed around the coffin the audience could see underneath at all times.

In a very short time, I was found to laid on the top of the coffin. This is truly impossible.

Offers over £600 to danillusions@gmail.com Note that this email address is only used for this illusion sale and will be inactive after 10 days.

D. THE GIRL THROUGH THE GLASS

A BIG illusion. It comes with a large sheet of glass set into a large wooden frame, probably about 6' square. Two long tables are placed on each side of the glass and a girl is laid on the table, covered, and the sliding board with her on it is pushed through the middle of the glass.

Beautifully made by my father the only thing that would need touching up/TLC is that I decided it would be more deceptive if the large sheet of glass was stained like a fancy window and that might have faded (I have not unpacked this to find out.

Offers over £700 to danillusions@gmail.com Note that this email address is only used for this illusion sale and will be inactive after 10 days.

E. OKITO STYLE CLOTH PENETRATION

Memory tells me that we copied this from old photographs and basically it is a large Chinese style 'door frame' that has a sliding panel that goes up and down in front of what is seen to be a large piece of cloth. The panel is lowered to the middle, the top and the bottom of the cloth staying in view at all time, yet the magician or assistant can go around the back and not only push objects through the cloth but also their arms and head etc.

Of course the cloth can immediately be shown to be unharmed.

Offers over £200 to danillusions@gmail.com Note that this email address is only used for this illusion sale and will be inactive after 10 days.

F. THE MAGIC SQUARE

A major feature in my touring show and my West End productions. This ALWAYS got huge applause and yet it is only a mathematical magic square. The difference here was that I made it into a large display item with large numbers that were put into place by my assistants as I 'created' the square based on a number called out by the audience.

Complete with the numbers.

Offers over £250 to danillusions@gmail.com Note that this email address is only used for this illusion sale and will be inactive after 10 days.

Early Morning Thoughts

2011-02-04T00:10:00.000-08:00

Despite a long long driving day yesterday, and then for some strange reason waking up bright as a button and finding out it was only 1120 PM!!!, then being awake for a couple of hours in the night, I woke up far too early at about 0610am.

Debbie was already up and getting ready to go to the gym. It's now 8.12 and I have already repaired and wrapped an old magic table that I have to send to Germany. That has been the story of the last couple of weeks really, as I crate up and parcel up all the stuff I have sold on eBay.

Not many big illusions to go now and yes, there are moments of nostalgia even though I know I would rebuild them if I needed to use that sort of prop again. It's hard letting go of stuff that your Dad and brother made and painted.

Never mind, it was good to meet up with keen magicians again who deal with that size of prop. The containers that I store the tricks in are in the middle of a very open field in North Lincolnshire and it's a lonely spot if you have an accident? Yup, silly me lost control of a large illusion in its box when I was moving it to load it into a van. I lost the balance point and it really winded me when it cracked across my chest, pinning me for a while until I called upon my Super Powers to shift it. Lesson learnt.

I chose not to do much in the way of shows during this period whilst I sort out all the 'stock' and tidy up my life. Thank goodness for eBay I say. One thing that proved very popular was finding some immaculate, but old, posters of shows I did at the Savoy and the Prince of Wales Theatres. They have sold like, well, hot posters!

Managed to find time to get up to our shop in Mesnes Street in Wigan and that is looking very good now. People who go in there don't seem to realise however that in the Fancy Dress and Magic lines, if we ain't got it we can get it pretty quickly.

Right now life is manic because next month we are going away for four weeks and have to not only pack the clothing and the props needed, but also sort out a full stage show for the tribute to Lafayette, the magician who died 100 years ago in a theatre fire in Edinburgh. We have had an outline meeting but there are so many details to 'fix' before we go.

Apart from that it's pretty quiet!

One Man and His Wig

2011-01-19T02:26:00.000-08:00

What a funny week. By that I mean funny as in laughter, although it has been more than a little odd as well.

As many of you know, I pop little messages onto Twitter and happened to mention that as part of the Grand Sale of Illusions and similar stuff on eBay I had come across a box and it contained one of my old wigs. Someone immediately offered me £50 for it and so I replied along the lines of that as demand had been so great I felt that I had to offer it to one and all and I would put it on eBay.

I did, with a description that was, I hope, funny and set a starting price of 99p. Oh boy, did I open Pandora's Box. The media have had a field day and as I type the price has risen to £550! Amazing.

It doesn't end there of course because there are still three days to go until the sale ends. The Daily Mail have been up to the warehouses to photograph the stuff and even ITV sent a cameraman with an interviewer for one of their shows. Another show has rented the wig. All of this has Debbie and I both in hysterics and looking round for what else we can sell on there. Requests for Debbie's knickers have so far been rejected....... so far......

I have also come across one of the Storm Troopers helmets from the first Star Wars movie that they made. Should I stick a wig on that and sell it?

It was good to see Scott Penrose yesterday. He came up to collect an illusion he has bought from me. Unfortunately silly me drove all the way up there without the keys to open the containers. What a wally. Good chat though with one of magic's nicest guys and craftsmen.

Hey ho, back to eBay... now where does Debbie keep her knickers?

The Magicians BBC TV

2011-01-14T01:06:00.000-08:00

As I have been asked by so many what I think about this series. The following email seems to be the overall view of the comments I have had, and comes from a friend, a teacher in the North West.

I was interested in your comments about the current magical experience. Not that I am an avid viewer as my spectator views are 'Paul does that." "See that before." "That's not new." "That's making a lot of presentation and wafting about very little magic." So it is now part of the 'flicking' process as I think it is a waste of effort.

However accepting that you spoilt me views (!) I was interested to hear what my students had to say about it. They aren't very impressed either and don't think it is doing magic any favours. The most general opinion is trying to making it competitive. They seem to think it spoils it all and the viewer can't just sit back accept it for what they do. All the in between discussion are a total waste of time. They think it looks tatty. I actually think they have gone to great lengths to try to make it look not tatty but the concept of scale for the TV screen seems to have got out of hand.

Your views may well be different BUT if you are a magician hobbyist I am sorry, but your views don't really count, 'cos we are supposed to be entertaining the public, not just playing with our toys. Oops, I'll be that upsets somebody!

V.A.T. The Uneconomical Tax

2011-01-13T17:26:00.000-08:00

2011 is now settling in and the media are full of how we are all suffering from the cutbacks and reduced services and on and on and on. Very little is written about how the current government don't really have much of choice, just as Thatcher didn't when she took over a horrendous financial mess. Everyone called her the Iron Lady and prattled on about how she was so tough with the unions. Well, that was easy, we had no money to pay their increasing demands, so she HAD to say no.

Now we are in a worse state and who would want the job of trying to recover from the horrendous debt? Not me.

On the other hand I had forgotten about my early thoughts on the V.A.T. When it went up to 20% once again I couldn't help but think this is the most expensive way to collect taxation. Think about it.

When I get a fee for performing, I have to charge the person paying me an extra 20% and in the main, they claim that back from the tax man. How does the tax man pay them that money? Presumably with the money I collected and have to give to him. This money goes round in a complete circle and does nothing. Why bother with it?

Sure, those not registered can't claim it back, but the large amounts just go round and round and to nothing but increase the paperwork. Am I wrong?

I find it all very odd.

We finished the panto having made good new friends of the rest of the cast, made all ages laugh and shout and sing. Great fun.

I must say I am feeling rather proud of myself 'cos I have FORCED myself to clear out and sell on the magic stuff I have been storing for years. That sale is still going on and I would hope that in a couple more weeks it will all be gone.

In looking at it all again I realised how innovative we were when we made the Paul Daniels Magic Shows, extending boundaries and always pushing ourselves to make the magic different to what had gone before.

I guess that is my biggest criticism of the current spate of magic shows that have burst onto the scene. I have seen nothing new, nothing twisted into a new moment of 'How the Hell.....?'

To the young viewers of course, it is all marvellous and that is great, but I don't think I will be watching any more of the shows, except when I know there is a mate being screened.

I could write reams on the presentations, the direction, and so on, but I am afraid that I would be accused of bitterness, jealousy, and the like. It's not true, I love my chosen art form, magic, and I would simply love to see it shown to the public at its best.

To those who have asked what I am up to this year, I really have not decided what to do. Sure, we have an up coming tour of the South Seas for a month and will be seeing old friends in New Zealand and LA, but beyond that I don't know what I want to do.

For now I am happy clearing out and getting rid. When that is done no doubt I will get bored and hit the road again....

The Return of the Magic Blogger

2011-01-01T02:00:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Everybody. What a good boy I am. It's the 1st of January and in keeping with one of my New Years Resolutions list, I am updating the blog. Once again it has been a while since I did this but although I have been working hard, it has mostly been on the same job, so I thought that might be a bit boring for you.

The PHA pantomime group wanted me to create a Flying Carpet effect for them for their Derby show, and that took a bit more time than I thought it would but it is much better, technically, than the others I have seen and I delivered that on time. That reminds me, I must send them an invoice! It's stuff like that I forget, silly me.

I performed on the Max Miller Appreciation Show at the Komedia in Brighton and they seemed to like what I did but most of my time has been spent in rehearsals and performances of Jack and The Beanstalk at the Harlequin Theatre in Redhill. What a great cast to work with. I am King Crumble (no, not Grumble) and Debbie is Fairy Organic, fresh but a bit more expensive. She has a cucumber for a wand... don't ask!

Early on in the run I had to have two nights off to go and appear in the final show of Strictly Come Dancing. What a waste of time. They could easily have put a quick filmed insert in, but oh no, I sat around for hour after hour after hour for what amounted to a 5 second flash on the screen. Grrrrrr.

That's about it really. The Pantomime takes up all my waking hours, especially as we commute to Redhill. The first week we got stuck there because some stuff called snow fell on the roads and the M25 and Reigate Hill were frozen over. I just saw some incredible photographs from Japan where the roads were clear despite REALLY high snow drifts on either side. Why don't our transport agencies ask them what they use and get that stuff over here? Debbie even had to abandon her car at one stage and set off to walk the last couple of miles to the theatre. A nice lady gave her a lift in a 4x4 and I went down the next day with ours and got her back on the road.

Christmas was quiet, but that was OK. I had lunch with my Mam and Debbie went to hers. Father Christmas brought me lots of goodies, especially a Canon 550D camera. I am still playing with that and will for some time to come.

Martin brought Lewis and Camilla down for a flying visit to see the pantomime and as I write he is on the way to join another ship out in the Caribbean. Gary came as well with Annie and Matthew and indeed, G and A will be here for lunch 'cos we have today off!

What else? Nothing much. I seem to have pulled muscles in my back although I can't remember lifting anything heavy... my wallet is very light after the festivities.

Some will moan about the expense but I thought the New Year fireworks on the Thames were the best ever and certainly sent me to bed feeling good about the New Year.

May you all have a very Happy and Peacefull 2011... now what was next on my list?

Watching Paint Dry

2010-11-16T02:48:00.000-08:00

The title says it all. I really am watching paint dry, although to be honest I have come into the house to wait for it to happen. I sat down here and tootled about on the computer and then.....

"NO. NONONO. It CAN'T be. It must be. As the kids now say OMG. It was October 20th when I was on here last. Considering I haven't done all that much I feel SO guilty. Megacatchup is called for...

I had a couple of days of tidying up and sorting out before going to Eurodisney on the Eurostar. I had never been on this service before and it was great. To be very honest I was totally unaware of going through the tunnel. I was reading a book, looked up and thought, 'Oh, that architecture looks different' and then worked out I was in France.

The gig was different as magicians who were friends were onstage with me going over my life and performances. How very nice of them. Debbie had gone off to the Lady Ratlings Ball and picked me up when I came back that night.

Another good friend, Bill Mundy, had a great party in his apartment to celebrate his birthday before flying off to Singapore. Have a look at Bill Mundy's blog (easy to find and why should I do all the work for you :) and I am sure you will enjoy it)

The clocks went back for reasons that are completely beyond me. So it gets dark... it does that anyway...

And then it was Debbie's birthday. We went off to Deb's parents and had a family party there. Deb is always on the go and next morning she headed off to Newcastle to sort out and make sure that two old friends were being properly looked after as they were both suffering illnesses.

I went off to a 'reading' of Hamlet's ghost in Reading before nipping to Heathrow to pick Deb up on the way back. Yes! Daniels did Shakespeare the following day. How dramatic is that? There is a company called Oddsox and they go around the country taking the bard not too seriously which makes it attractive to those who perhaps think Will is a bit heavy.

A neighbour dropped in with her gardener and planted a tree for us as a thank you for a party we held. How nice of her.

Cabaret time at The Savoy Hotel for a private dinner and believe me it's not easy following Rick Wakeman, the genius. Somehow I managed to quiet them down and make 'em laugh 'cos that's my job and everyone seemed happy with my foolery.

Then it was time for me to go round to the village hall and video the Wargrave Theatre Workshop Group performing Lysistrata. Sure it was naughty but it was also very funny AND made a good point regarding war. Written 2,500 years ago and still so relevant. Watching the fantastic Remembrance Service from the Albert Hall a few nights later all I could think of was 'when will these stupid leaders and fanatics learn?' Answer, probably never.

It was interesting to pop back into the studios and do a Q and A session for Strictly Experience which is where lucky applicants get a tour of the studios and meet some of the people involved.

Our next door neighbour John had a great birthday party in the world famous Leander Club. He has such nice friends it is always a pleasure to go to their 'bashes'.

The next day was not so good, although if you can ever describe a funeral as good, Mike Craig had one of the best. Look him up on the internet, and buy his books and disks which are still on sale. I know you will enjoy those.

In the midst of all of these happenings Debbie and I have started to learn our lines for the pantomime and I have been pulling the props together. One of them needed painting and I started that this morning, which is why I am watching paint dry...

Afterthoughts on Strictly Come Dancing

2010-10-20T12:29:00.001-07:00

What a week this has been, with literally hundreds of people getting in touch one way or another about me leaving Strictly and wanting to know if I am alright. At first I thought it was odd and then I realised that the vast majority of them were not in show business and maybe don't understand how it works, or at least how it works for me.

I am in show business not only because I love it, but also because I had been in a 9 to 5 job for years and really wanted a change, preferably to do the job I always wanted to do, entertain using magic and comedy as my vehicles.

Since I made that decision, aged 30, I have never regretted it. I love the variety that this job gives me, the constantly changing hours, venues, places and people. Since being tied into a regular TV series I have enjoyed being able to take on a wide variety of jobs within the entertainment business BUT only take on the ones that appeal to me, or appeal to my sense of curiosity.

Along the way an agent asked me if I would like to do Strictly Come Dancing. I have never danced for two reasons: I don't really understand why people do it because I don't understand or listen to music. Some people find that strange, but I could quite happily live my life without any music at all. I much prefer practical stuff. The other reason is that I have always felt very self conscious on the dance floor, on the rare occasions that I have been dragged up there, because I have never known what to do or how to do it.

So, I said yes, not realising that Strictly Come Dancing has very little to do with Ballroom Dancing, and a lot to do with Show Dancing. Oops. My mistake. Still, going into it without any delusions of grandeur meant I simply expected to drop out early. No pain there then.

Along the way I found great difficulty with remembering the complicated sequences of steps and body language. 4 or 5 hours of every day spent dancing, dare I say this, was becoming boring 'cos I like constant change. I was surprised that I didn't ache more. No pain there either.

When I was told what we were going to do in the last week I was involved I knew straight away we had little chance of staying in the show. I was told it was to be made funny, but I felt, rightly, that the judges would be seeking more 'correct' dancing. Strange how two of them are deliberately rude, not constructive, and they are really setting themselves up as objects of ridicule. Thankfully such remarks do not hurt me at all, they are so predictable.

I understand that when you are voted off you are supposed to be downcast or sad. In all honesty I was SO glad to be 'freed' from the routine daily grind. It was nice to be with the cast and staff of the show, of course, but show business is a series of seasons and shows which end and you say 'goodbye' constantly, no regrets.

So to all those who worried about me, thank you for caring, but I am so happy and glad to be back where I belong. Monday I did the Comedy Store in Manchester and I had SUCH a good time, with my kind of audience. Loved it.

Have fun.

Thoughts from a Dressing Room

2010-10-17T07:05:00.000-07:00

As I write this I am in a ground floor BBC dressing room, chuckling to myself because a couple of weeks ago I watched the BBC programme Watchdog. On that particular episode they really criticised the decor and quality of the rooms in holiday camps. The paint was scraped and chipped, the wallpaper was torn, the dressing table tops were water stained and scratched, and the chairs were dirty. Top secret revelation: I don’t think they bothered to go to the camps to get their video shots; they shot them in here! The TV doesn’t have any way of turning it on and the radio only works if you keep one hand touching it and you are the aerial. AND it’s freezing in here. To hell with the environment, I have switched on everything I can find to warm the place up so that my muscles won’t stiffen up. I know, I can hear you all now shouting ‘Paul, WHAT muscles?’.

Something else that REALLY surprises me about this building is that it has no WiFi area for the performers, the guests, or even more amazing, the staff.

Well, the rehearsals, band calls and lighting checks were all done and then the show started. I thought that Scott was really good, but so were many others. I took a real panning from the judges but I was delighted that I had remembered to do everything that was asked of me. The problem was that no one told the judges that we were doing a comedy dance, not the Rumba of Romance.

Strictly Come To Think of It though, how can I possible do a romantic sexy dance with a girl who could be my Grand-daughter? It would look equally ridiculous and possibly make me look like a dirty old man, which I might well be, but I don’t want to LOOK like one! Hey ho... the judges marked us well down, now it’s up to the public.

A Great Day Off Work

2010-10-10T08:49:00.000-07:00

After the mayhem of the past few weeks today, Sunday, was a wonderful relief from trying to force my brain to learn dance steps.

Sadly Debbie had to go to work so I dragged myself out of the bed and went off to Homebase. I have had some weird things to design in life as a props and effects designer but the current job wins hands down. The producer of an ancient Greek play needs the men in it to become obviously excited. No... we can't use the natural way of things to bring this about so all sorts of mysterious, and rude, looking gadgets are cluttering the house until I solve the problems.

Then I visited a garden centre to start to get a prop together in case I am in next week's Strictly Come Dancing. They seem to want a 'magical' touch to happen each week, but that isn't going to be possible because I only like stuff that fits the song or the moment. I used cards last night as a 'link' to the song, Lady Luck. What a great song.

I have been truly stunned by the support from Facers and Twitters, emails and letters, family, friends and strangers on the streets for Strictly. If any of them read this, megathanks to you all.

Debbie came home, had a nap and then we took the boat out onto the river for an hour. What a perfect day and unbelievably hot sunshine. A lovely trip culminated in an ice cream treat as we walked around the garden. I think I'll go to bed because the day can't get better.

Strictly Slimming

2010-10-08T00:25:00.000-07:00

There is a famous quote, albeit horrible fact, made by a doctor at the end of a TV discussion about obesity and weight loss: 'Nobody came out of Belsen fat'

This observation has always stuck in my mind as being an obvious fact; if you don't put it into your mouth and swallow food, you cannot possibly put on weight. What was it my physics teacher taught me? 'Matter cannot be created'

So, IF you are overweight and/or have flab, what's the answer? Cut back on the intake is the obvious answer and you will, over time, lose weight. There is, however, another choice and I am the living, delighted, proof that it works. Exercise!

In the last few weeks I have gone down from 167lbs to 154lbs just by dancing. Exercise is boring. Dancing makes exercise more interesting. I suppose the walking method would work as well, say 5 miles a day... but by the end of the week you'd be 35 miles away from home!

The other advantage of dancing it off is you get better posture. Everyone is saying I am walking better and I am feeling so much better about myself I may well become a male model. Playboy? :)

Strictly and the Press

2010-10-05T04:32:00.000-07:00

Well, as they say, the proverbial poop hit the proverbial fan thanks to the ignorance of our 'news'papers and their desperate need to drag everything down to their level. I made a crack back at Craig (who by the way is a really nice guy) about his daytime job tasting sausages. The press said I was homophobic, obviously unaware of their own news releases that he is the face of British Sausage Week, the job Debbie and I did for them last year.

It was topical and he thought it was funny and I hope that British Sausage liked the publicity. Having supported the gay musical Frank's Closet this year, and having just finished a tour with the Cuddly Biggins, I am the LAST person you can call homophobic.

When will our press get a life?

On Sunday we had a party to renew our vows and it turned out to be a great bash, with so many friends who were at our wedding 22 years ago and so many new friends. Everything worked a treat...

Luscombe's of Henley did the catering; Norwell Lapley Events set up the lighting and general decor; Kevin Toomey was the white face clown; Mick Read was a clown; Andrew Van Buren and Allyson did a plate spinning act; the contortionist was Iona Luvsandori; the high speed skating act was Vittorio Arata and his soon to be wife Eugenia provided the climax to the evening. Music was provided by both a jazz band and a dance band. Two of the dance band played at our wedding all those years ago!

It came as a bit of a surprise to both Debbie and I that the renewal of our vows meant so much to us; it was a very emotional moment to stand in our circus ring and renew those promises.

All the guests had a great time, but not as good as we did. There are photos, apparently, all over the Facebook pages but I haven't got any from our photographers yet to post.

Now I am back into doing Strictly training and I seem to be in a no win situation here in that I was happy as Larry (who IS Larry?) when I was dancing, advised to be more serious, was more serious on the Saturday, and got ticked off by my Mam's friends for being miserable! :)

I must butt in to my own blog here 'cos you wouldn't believe what is happening now. Debbie is on the phone to Rolf Harris. He was a guest at the party and he knows ALL the words to ALL the comedy songs and he is now on the speaker phone SINGING ... 'Wait Till the Work Comes Round' from 1904. Hysterical so I can't follow that. I'll sign off

Strictly Come Dancing is under way

2010-10-03T03:20:00.000-07:00

Well, the show is finally on the screens and love it or hate it, it will be on until December. I don't expect to be in it for the full run because I believe there are FAR better dancers than me out there.

I also seem to have missed the point of the show a bit, having never watched it before, except once when my mother-in-law had it on, but even then I only gave it a perfunctory glance. I thought we would be learning standard ballroom dancing and instead we are expected to come up with what I would call 'show dancing' 'cos I never saw anything like this on a ballroom floor at any of the gigs I have done in the past.

Never having danced this has all come as a bit of shock BUT, I am under contract so I will give it a shot.

A huge thank you from me to all those who have phoned, emailed, twittered and facebooked me to say that the judges treated me to harshly. Maybe they did, maybe they didn't. Knowing nothing about the programme means I don't know either way. I found them funny and Spitting Image would have had a ball with these guys.

I thought, especially in the Cha Cha Cha that we were supposed to be having fun. It seemed like a fun, party dance to me, but I was so wrong in their eyes... apparently you are not supposed to be relaxed, singing and having a good time whilst dancing. Is this why I have never bothered with it?

The learning curve goes on, and I do find this form of theatre very interesting. I don't know, however, whether I will be able to find it in my heart to not just have fun.

The Calm before the Strictly Storm

2010-10-01T02:10:00.000-07:00

It is Friday morning as I write this. I have an enforced quiet time because Debbie has gone off to pick some crates of champagne and I was going to prepare myself for the day. Doorbells rang and there was the first of the trucks with generators and heaters. I know nothing about this party on Sunday evening other than the garden is covered in marquees and quite a lot of friends who were at our wedding are coming over for fun and chatty catch ups.

It's no use me going back to my ablutions as another truck has just brought the table settings. The organiser of all this, Debbie, is missing and I think she has done this deliberately to get me more involved. The trouble is that tonight will be the first live broadcast of Strictly Come Dancing and my head is full of dance steps and angles!

Once I get tonight over with I can think about the Sunday Event on Saturday and Sunday. Luckily Debbie is a brilliant organiser and I can trust her to get on with it. Whatever happens we will have a great evening with all our friends.

So many people have asked about Strictly and I am afraid that I can't tell you about what has happened to the other 'contestants', only what has been happening to me. It wasn't until yesterday that I got to see some of the others dancing and I think they are all brilliant. What you have to remember is this is not the Comfort Zone for any of us and for most of us a completely new adventure. The way the professional dancers have brought them all out of their shells and into this new world is astonishing.

Me? Well, I am the result of repetition, repetition, repetition on the part of Ola Jordan who is still trying to get me to understand rhythm and memorise where my feet should be going. Add that to where your head has to be, and your arms, and your hips, and it's no wonder I am confused. Give me card tricks every time!

To all those who wrote about why the BBC didn't follow up the Launch Show with the Shows themselves, I don't know. It seemed to be a natural progression but they must have thought differently. It's the same thing tonight: they are putting out a 'split show' with the first part on at 9pm and tomorrow night it will be on at 6pm.

One thing I did learn over the TV years I did the job is that audiences are creatures of habit. A regular time and a regular day builds an audience up. I even disagree with breaking up regular programs for some boring sports event.

Hey ho... did you see that the Germans will finally pay off the 6.6billion debt on Sunday? That's for the FIRST World War. Now how much did that last Government leave us in debt for? Do the sums!!!

Strictly Come Dancing and The Best of British

2010-09-27T01:38:00.000-07:00

Debbie is drying her hair so I have a minute or three to jot down an update. Life has been unbelievably busy and I do mean busy.

The Best of British Variety shows are now drawing to a close with only two more to do. One tonight in Huddersfield and one in Buxton. For the audiences who came it has been a wonderful night out and we have only had one complaint! That came from a man in training to be a priest who thought some of the material was a bit bawdy. Sorry mate. You lot have completely blown your cover and very few people are taking any notice of your opinions especially with regard to anything to do with sexuality.

The truth is that the audiences have been wrapped in a warm glow as Dana sang her songs and they have laughed and clapped along at Syd Little, The Grumbleweeds, The Krankies and me. I have said it before and I'll say it again... there's nothing so enjoyable as watching long time professionals on a stage doing what they do so well.

Most afternoons after we have travelled to the next town Ola Jordan has turned up and put me through my paces for Strictly Come Dancing. So far, as I have never danced before, she has been making me do the opening dance over and over and over and over again. Believe me, I need that kind of discipline. I have just realised that we only have four days training left before the show goes live. Today Ola says she is going to start on the next dance.

I am surprised at myself in that the only ache I have is from a stiff neck caused by an air conditioning unit that we couldn't switch off in Rhyl Pavilion's dressing room. I thought I would have muscles yelling at me to give in but so far so good.

Ah, the hair is dry so it looks like we are going off for brunch (should that be bruncheon?) before the dancing begins....

The Magicians on BBC TV

2010-09-21T03:50:00.000-07:00

Oh dear oh dear, in the midst of all this dancing training and touring the live show at night the media are now coming at me from all sides because the BBC are launching a 'Strictly Come Magic' competition on Saturday nights.

Everyone is after me for opinions and comments but how can I do that when I have no idea what the show is about other than what the Beeb's Press Office have issued.

Like everyone else I wait with baited breath to see who the three magicians are going to be and who is going to be the presenter.

Whoever does it, it ain't going to be easy and I wish them the best of luck. I do hope, sincerely, that the producers have really done their research into this peculiar form of entertainment and realise that the tricks themselves don't matter at all. The most important part of a magic act is the person presenting the magic. Please keep it baffling and entertaining.

Speaking of baffling, that is the root of magic. It has to be baffling. Part of the press release says "In addition, viewers at home will be able to both enjoy and learn interactively via a series of exclusive tricks and step-by-step guides to give budding magicians an introduction to the art."

This bit, I admit, does bother me because if you learn magic from a public broadcast other people, like your friends, will also be watching and learning so WHO are you going to baffle. Also I fear that the emphasis will be on the 'secret' of the tricks and not on the real secrets of magic, which are personality, presentation and KEEPING SECRETS!

Fingers crossed for the show. If it's good, it's good for all of us.

The Strictly Come Dancing Saga, cont...

2010-09-11T04:03:00.000-07:00

Well, the 8th September came and went in a blur of activity. The studio setting, which now seats more people, was packed and staff and dancers were whizzing around everywhere. As I write this tonight the nation will watch the Launch of the new season of shows, not even thinking that behind the scenes a huge mountain of work is going on.

We were constantly whizzed in and out of makeup and costume departments, given 'orrible food served in cardboard boxes, and so on. Ah, the glamour of show business.

Debbie and my son Gary were in the audience and apparently I didn't do too badly. I know I goofed in front of the judges desk and they will be probably making notes to use in the future. At least this wasn't part of the competition.

Straight after the recording (this is the only show in the series that is recorded) we went round many tables, being rapidly interviewed by about 50 journalists before we could go up to the bar to meet with our families. Nice to meet Billy Connolly again up there.

We got home late.

That didn't stop us having to be up early the next morning as Debbie, Gary and I all had a lot to do. Gary shot off to do one of his fitness training sessions (he's the trainer) and I went off to make up and costumes again to shoot the title sequences, do radio interviews, still photographs and so on that they will use in publicity.

Thanks to the Beeb gang being very well organised I managed to wrap about 1pm and Debbie and I set off for Wigan because it was Paul Jnr's 50th birthday and we wanted to celebrate it with him.

The nightmare began. There had been a fatal crash on the M6. The police closed the road. Worse, the diversion system didn't work. Roads in every direction were gridlocked. The service station car parks were gridlocked. Welcome Break had the nerve to send staff into the car park and charge drivers who were stuck in there for more than 2 hours... and that after the extortionate prices they charge for refreshments anyway.

Gary, my youngest son, had to give up and turn back. Sort of luckily I had got off the M6 just in time but even then I couldn't find a road north so I headed off into the Peak District and went round the other side of Manchester to get to Wigan. It took 8 hours to get there, but then we had a beautiful meal in Gallimore's Fine Restaurant, shared a lot of laughs with Paul before heading back for home. This time it only took 4 hours.

Why did we come home? Because the next morning we had to be in Redhill to launch the pantomime we will be doing in December....

It's all go round here!

Strictly Come Dancing on BBC TV

2010-09-07T21:54:00.000-07:00

The Strictly Come Dancing Diary

22^nd July Blimey, the agent has just phoned and told me that I am going to be contracted to do Strictly Come Dancing. I am boggled. I told them the truth – I have never danced, never had any dance lessons, I never listen to music. I have got the job. It’s like the Army. Before I was called up I had been working on pay systems so I naturally assumed I was going into the Royal Army Pay Corps. They put me in the infantry! I must go to the toilet...

23^rd July Oh dear, the agent has just sent through the dates I will be needed for Strictly Come Dancing and now I am going to have to let three bookings down at worst and at best reschedule the dates. AND it crashes into the pantomime dates. I will be rehearsing panto and having dancing lessons all at the same time. This is going to be a mega bluff period of my life. Isn’t it odd? I travel the world getting rave reviews for what I do... magic stuff. Then I come to my own country and TV wants me to dance, or sing. What’s with TV? Why do they always want to make people look less than they are?

I am sure that people have no idea what goes on behind the scenes... I have now spent three HOURS re-organising my diary and circulating it to all those who are in the know about this show.

Bummer. It turns out that Paris is far more organised than I thought and that is going to make for a very difficult negotiation because I cannot get out of the SCD contract. The worst thing is that I expect to get the Order of the Boot in the first couple of weeks and could do the Paris gig without any fuss.

The Bristol gig got moved quite easily and they understood the problem.

24^th July Last night Debbie was working on a TV show until 3.45 this morning. I spent the whole afternoon and evening on my own and for the first time in my life, found myself trying to dance around the kitchen. Not ‘proper’ dancing but more my own version of what I see happening on the disco scene. Of course, like all of us in our minds, I was brilliant. What a mover. In reality, which I dragged myself back to very quickly, I was a clomping idiot. I really am going to have to take this job more seriously.

This morning I weighed myself. 11stone 8lbs, which has been my average weight for the last couple of years. I went up a bit and held back on the goodies to get back down to that weight. I have never exercised, because I have no interest in it and find it boring. My son Gary, on the other hand, actually trains personal trainers. That makes him a major let down to the family and I will have to cut him out of the will..... just kidding if you read this Gary... there is no will.

So, I will have to start a gentle routine of exercise ready to build up to the ‘happening’. One of the reasons is that at the same time as I am learning to dance, I am doing a tour with the Best of British Variety Show and if I stay in Strictly Come Dancing then I will be learning a pantomime as well. It’s all go.

31^st July A week has gone by. Every day I do 10 very slow full knees bending squats with a very slow push back up. I may be wrong but I think this strengthens my muscles far more that doing rapid up and down squats. When I first started every joint grumbled and cracked but after about 5 days they seemed to smooth out and there are no strange noises any more.

I also do 10 slow press-ups. They really take some doing so I am not as fit as I thought I was. Weight-wise nothing has changed. I am exactly the same.

This has been a week of discussions about medicals and contracts and dates and times and all the zillion details that agents need to sort out before you dive in off the deep end. I asked if I should take dancing lessons but the producer said not to do that because I might learn bad habits. Isn’t it sad that thanks to recent experiences in TV I don’t know whether to believe her or not, despite her being very nice. I would like to have had some knowledge of the job before I went, and she may well be telling the truth, but I also wonder whether they need someone to be very bad so the judges can have their usual nasty way with them.

18^th August The days slip by and the bad news is that I have only lost 4lbs in weight. As it used to say in my school reports, ‘Must try harder’. Other than continuing negotiations betwixt my manager and the BBC, there’s not much to report.

I do wish though that someone in the BBC would do a calculation on how much they are spending on insurance premiums and medical examinations. It seems to be way over the top and I have never heard of a show being cancelled because someone was ill. They just slot someone else into the vacant spot.

Should I be offended this morning? Someone in the BBC has asked my manager if I want to go on a media training course? Don’t they read the papers? NOBODY can control the media. If they decide to be nasty, they will be nasty. Then I started to wonder WHO runs the course and what their experience is with the media? It’s almost worth going on the course to find out what nonsense they spout.

Our world has got busy. Last week Debbie recorded Come Dine With Me to be shown in October I believe. I am now on tour with The Best of British Variety Show. In the midst of that I am going to have to fit in the Strictly schedule. Another channel wants Debbie and I to renew our marriage vows. Hey, it’s a TV show so we will not be taking our vows in a serious manner, but it is down to us to organise that. A lot of all of this will run into pantomime preparations and Debbie’s new cookery book being launched.

So much for my peaceful life.

25^th August I know, so please don’t beat me up, that I should be doing a LOT more in the exercise world to get fit for the show, but I can’t help it, I just find exercise boring. I can’t get into it at all. I did have a look at a couple of teach yourself dancing video things on the internet... but I can’t get into that either. I have decided to go with the flow when it happens.

1^st September All aspects of Strictly are kept secret. I can’t really understand that because I have always believed in shouting publicity from the rooftops as loudly as you can and for as long as you can. Hey ho, they want it to be a secret, despite dozens upon dozens of people at the BBC knowing who is involved. One of my problems is that I have so much other stuff going on that I NEED to tell people, not about Strictly, but about what times they can call me/see me and so on. I simply can’t find anything out. Maybe they don’t know. Tonight Debbie and I go to Zippos Circus and we had a great time.

2^nd September AT LAST I get taken to a rehearsal room BUT I expected to start to learn some dance steps. Instead we were shooting some ‘promo’ stuff and title inserts. That sort of thing. It took forever.

3^rd September A day at home so I managed to fit in a medical. It’s my annual check up but it seems to have turned out OK.

4^th September I was taken to some Studios and I confess I am finding all this Cloak and Dagger stuff a bit childish. Who really cares? Will I ever learn to dance?

5^th September Ah Ha! I meet the other ‘victims’ and we all seem to get along really well. What a strange mixture we are. The choreographer was once on one of my TV shows, lifting me into a cooking pot, but that’s another story. I have never danced before and don’t understand any of the terms or counting that they use. They tell me it’s a cha-cha... really? We start to learn what is going to be a lot more complicated than we thought it was going to be. One celeb passes the comment that he never thought they would be going in this hard or this fast at the beginning. The pro dancers are all great, really great, and I don’t know how they are putting up with the likes of me at all. When I get home my front door is covered in silly mini-posters saying ‘Welcome home Fred Astaire’

06 Sep. My pick up time is all wrong and I get up way to early. I get taken into TV Centre and I have to wear colours that won’t clash or affect being interviewed in front of a green screen. That way the editors can put different pictures behind you like they do on the news and weather programmes. Then I get taken to rehearse the dance again with the gang. It’s getting faster and harder. A couple of celebs have blisters. We do finish reasonably early though. When I get home there is a walking cane and a sign that says ‘In case you need it’.... My wife is laughing

07^th September Oh Goodie. I am taken in for final clothing fitting (I have already been rehearsing in high heels for two days) and we all get taken into Studio 1. This is the studio where for 16 years we made most of the Paul Daniels Magic Shows. The set for Strictly is really really good. Please remember when you watch this they put it up and down every week. What a big job. We all rehearse the routine for the show, and the entrances and exits. This is as much for the technicians to learn where we will be as much as it is for us.

The pro dancers have obviously been working very hard; their routines are incredible. Tomorrow is both show day and press day.

8^th September As I write it is just after 4am and I am wide awake. Why is that? Am I secretly nervous and don’t know about it? Yesterday so many of the celebs and production team kept on saying how excited they were and so on but I just didn’t feel it that way at all. Mind you, I have always been ‘cool’ about doing shows and to me, this is just another one of them. The other thing that doesn’t get to me is the talk about the competition. I just don’t see it as a competition at all and it certainly isn’t how I think about the programme. To me it’s a fun, colourful show and that is it.

Well.... despite the BBC saying even at the last minute it is all still TOP SECRET, Twitter pointed me at their site and they have announced it. Good, now it is all out there. I weigh 11st 3lbs.

The Best Laid Plans

2010-08-24T03:04:00.001-07:00

Indeed.... the best laid plans and also never put off 'til the morrow.... Has Daniels been drinking? Is he going doolally? No, all will become plain and simple...

For the last couple of years I have been trying to devise ways of clearing my silted creek out that would not break the bank and about three weeks ago I thought of a way. I'll get round to doing that I thought... and put it off whilst I got all involved with the Best of British Variety Tour and some television work.

Looking at my schedule I realised that today would be THE DAY for doing it. I would travel home from Bournemouth after the show at the Pavilion and attack the creek early this morning. A goodly plan but I had put it off just too long. I came home in the night to find the winds had brought down large branches and partly blocked my drive way.

The morning dawned bright and sunny and I went out to clear the branches before doing the creek. I needed my dinghy to work in the creek and I couldn't find it. The wind had rammed it, and I do mean RAMMED it, up into the bank at the top end of the creek and I can't shift it.

Leverage, I thought, and went for a long lever..... the heavens opened and I gave up. I now have a dinghy full of rain water... and I am not prepared to get wet.

What else? Well, the shows are going very well; Dana is delightful and the other acts all make me, and the audiences, laugh a lot, so all is good.

I see RG9 has left me a note about being on radio on Saturday morning. I wonder what that is about? Sometimes you record a radio show or TV show and by the time it is transmitted you have no memory of doing it at all.

I wrote to my MP this morning about credit cards. The media has been full of how much we are all in debt so I have suggested, once again, that by law they have to be called debt cards so that every time a seller asks us if we want it on our debt we might stop and think about it.

Time for a cup of tea.

Secrets and Variety Shows

2010-08-19T00:52:00.000-07:00

This is one of the most frustrating times I have ever spent in show business. The past weeks have been unbelievably busy as we get ready for more work than any autumn has ever brought us. As I said in the last blog, however, we are contracted not to tell anyone what we are doing. This is exciting stuff and I want to tell everyone.

All I can tell you is that Debbie has already recorded a short series of shows for TV; she has had all the photos taken for her cookery book that will be out, we hope, for Christmas; as I write we are waiting for a TV crew to arrive and shoot what they call 'profiles' for a short series of shows that will feature both of us; another crew is working hard on what might be a long run on TV; the pantomime producer was around about our show in Redhill at Christmas....

See what I mean about frustrating? I would love to tell you about it all, what a burst of publicity that would be.

Come to think of it, my last series for the BBC was called 'Secrets'.... I was ahead of my time.

At a meeting with one of the production teams our manager was asked if I would like to go on a course to learn how to handle the media!!! They actually have a course for that! What a waste of money. If the media don't like you, NOBODY can handle them. AND I wonder who is running it?

The good news is that The Best of British Variety Show is on tour again and last week I enjoyed meeting up with Syd Little, Dana (simply delightful), Christopher Biggins (read his book), The Grumbleweeds (hysterically funny), and the Krankies (you have GOT to see her do Susan Boyle!). The show is well spread across England so catch it if you can.

Yesterday was my Mum's 94th birthday. My brother Trevor and his brood came over too and we all had a 'picnic' in Mum's lounge. Great to see everybody there and Mam (northern version) was in her element reminiscing about times past.

In the midst of all this Debbie and I have managed to find the odd couple of hours to drift up and down the river on our boat, breathing slowly to calm ourselves down.

We have also been up and down the country to the shop in Wigan, 49 Mesnes Street, and it is good to see that improving all the time.

Oh yes, one last thought... why do I get the impression in London that Boris's bikes are just being used by people who used to ride buses and the tube, and haven't removed any car traffic at all, merely got in the way of the cars? Sorry Boris, I'm a fan, but not of this idea.

Pakistan

2010-08-08T23:48:00.001-07:00

I have had quite a few messages of various thoughts asking why I haven't been writing blogs. The truth is that I haven't been doing anything that I thought was of interest to you.

Actually that is not quite true. Both Debbie and I have been getting involved in stuff that, for contractual reasons, we are not allowed to tell you until 'they' decide to tell you. Times have changed. In times not too long gone by, EVERY bit of publicity was to be garnered, but now those who go to media schools are obviously taught differently. I am not a fan of media schools/colleges because you get taught by people who only know, or invent, theories of show business.

We have also been spending time lazing on the river between bouts of driving up to the Magic and Party shop we have in Wigan and collecting stuff from my warehouses near Doncaster. That stuff is now getting put onto eBay but some is going to be very heavy to shift.

Debbie has been VERY busy over the past weeks, not only with her ongoing radio show, but also cooking like crazy for the photographs for her new book which should be out for Christmas.

The news for the past couple of weeks has tended to be all about Pakistan/Cameron/floods. DC put his foot in it, apparently/allegedly but I am sure that it is the result of non-understanding our funny old language. I heard what he said, and of course he is right... IF you read carefully. He said elements of Pakistan supported Taliban and insurgents and so on... and that is true. Mind you, we have elements living here who support them.

FAR worse are the floods and now we are all being encouraged to donate and support the people who have suffered. I do hope that someone over there, or even anyone looking at satellite pictures, is keeping records of the directions in which the water is pouring across the countryside. I do hope that as soon as these monsoon waters abate someone is going to use the donations to start excavating and concrete lining large canals to carry the water safely away next time it rains. I have seen such draining systems in other countries, standing dry for most of the year and then carrying floodwater away in the bad times.

Like I said, I 'hope'............ but I doubt it will happen. I wonder if we are ready for the falling leaves, or the coming snow...

Nigel Kennedy, Ronan Keating and Penn and Teller

2010-07-17T11:43:00.000-07:00

What a title, what a time we have had since I last scribbled in here. I cannot believe it is 10 days ago. Debbie and I whizz all over the place and we don't notice the days speeding by.

I will now go into reminiscence mode... not too far back but I do have to check the diary in case I miss something.

The first big news is that The Lovely Debbie McGee, the boat, not the woman, finally came home again. She has been having her bottom fixed so it is a very good job it IS the boat... It was glorious to be able to take her up and down the river again, noting the changes that are continually happening which we never notice if we pass by daily.

We enjoyed our evening at the Henley Festival. If you have never been make a date in your diary for next year and it really doesn't matter who is on the 'floating' stage on your night. There is so much to see with strolling performers, paintings and statues, great food or snack food, and everyone is so elegant. The night we went Nigel Kennedy was performing. I have long admired him and his abilities. He is such a likeable personality but sadly, I'm afraid this concert was SO self-indulgent, playing all the music from the Duke Ellington 'song book'. A lot of it was too similar and the only real variation was in the penultimate piece which turned out to be a 20 minute dirge. Add that to the fact that for a lot of the concert we were watching Nigel's back and so many of us felt that Nigel had forgotten, for this concert, that he was supposed to be entertaining US. Ne'er mind, maybe next time he'll be better. The rest of the night was great and the fireworks amongst the best I have ever seen.

I had to drive up to Gainsborough to do my show at the Gainsborough Trinity Arts Theatre. It's a great venue and, I learned later, I got the same guy on stage that I did last time I was there. He must look friendly!

The next morning I was up very early to grab some stuff out of my store, which I have to have cleared out completely as soon as possible. Already about 50 magicians have been in touch asking to be informed of what I have for sale. I wish I was more efficient at that kind of stuff. That night we loaded Debbie's parents in to the boat and cruised slowly downriver in perfect weather to tie up close to the stage and spent the evening munching our onboard picnic whilst listening to Ronan Keating doing his set. Afterwards we took the boat home in the dark. Perfect.

After a couple of days at home Debbie and I went up to the shop that Paul Jnr runs up in Wigan and commenced the big facelift. It is changing and will include a magic corner where the local magi can sit and natter about secret stuff. Back home that night for us because the next day I had quite a few interviews to do about the upcoming Best of British Variety Show, a tour I am REALLY looking forward to.

That same evening we were guests of Penn and Teller. If, perhaps, you have not liked them on TV, GO AND SEE THEM LIVE. This was our second viewing and this show was slightly different from their Vegas show. It was a delight to be able to watch two professional entertainers performing beautifully constructed routines. This was a great night out.

Today has been a day of making some tricks for Debbie, who has a job in a couple of days time, tidying up the workshop and a bit of gardening. We were going to go to the Traditional Boat Show in Henley, but I'm afraid we just have so much to do, we had to give it a miss this year. Our loss.

Electronic Keys

2010-07-07T12:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday wasn't the best day in the beginning. I had decided to head up to Wigan to do a bit in the shop we have in Mesnes Street. The wife, 'er indoors, smiled sweetly, said she would come along and would I mind dropping off a hat 'on the way', in Wallingford. Of course I wouldn't mind, confusing Wallingford with Watlington, a town I knew we drove through on the way. Wallingford was not on the way.

Worse than that, I couldn't get to Henley because of road works. I did a u turn and headed off back towards Sonning trying to ignore the sound of Lulu (our Satnav) getting very upset with me. We veered off around the northern end of Reading, into the countryside, enjoyed the view of the backside of a tractor for mile after mile and eventually got into Wallingford where Lulu gave up completely on the name of the street.

I reverted to what we did in the Dark Ages, and asked someone the way. Hey.... it worked and we dropped the hat off. Soon we were crawling along country roads trying to get to the M40. I was already exhausted but still had a three hour drive to go.

After a couple of hours I pulled into a service station on the M6, gave up on the baguette after a few chewy bites, handed the car keys to Debbie and we headed back to the car. Perhaps I should explain that my car doesn't have what I would call a key. It has one of those little chunky electronic blocks that you push into the slot that used to be a keyhole. It also has two inset buttons that lock and unlock the car. Well, it unlocks the car door normally but in this case Debbie couldn't get it to work.

Being a man, I smugly took the block from the helpless woman, and walked around the car pushing the damn thing in long and short bursts. It didn't work. I suggested she phoned the dealer for help. The girl who answered started to relay instructions from someone who knew what to do. So.....man, girl, Debbie, to me... I was supposed to take out the 'blade' from the electronic block. What blade? I have never seen a blade.

At this point a man came up and said his friend was having a bad day and would we have a photo taken with her. SHE was having a bad day? We had a photo taken whilst I managed to work out that inside the block there was a KEY to the car door. Apparently normal keys are now called blades.

I felt good again. I had a key. I used the key. All HELL broke out. I have never heard an alarm that loud before. Nothing seemed to stop it. Debbie was still on the phone but couldn't hear the instructions. A friendly man tried to shout his instructions into the car. The service station shops and restaurants emptied as they all came out to see the silly conjurer trying to look nonchalant, and failing.

Apparently you have to push the damn thing and you pull the damn thing out and you push it in again and start the car. Simple... then the reason why it didn't work in the first place was explained by the man who was telling the girl who was telling Debbie. Sometimes the signal is blocked if the car is surrounded by other cars and what I had done was what you have to do to get out of trouble.....

Well, fair enough, my car WAS surrounded by other cars. It was in a car park!!! Where do you leave your car? Who thinks this stuff up? The Capello of car design, that's who.

Football and Capello

2010-07-07T11:51:00.000-07:00

I know, I know... it's over, but it is still being discussed everywhere I go. As regular readers of this stuff will know, I'm not a raving fan. I am one of those people who think it is only a game BUT there are things in all the hype that no one seems to have commented on, so I will.

I agree with EVERYONE I have talked to that whoever made the decision to agree to a contract that paid Capello, the Tommy Cooper lookalike, millions if he was sacked, was an out and out idiot.

My own observation was that immediately one of the worst showings by any team anywhere, Capello said that he thought his players played well. IF that is the truth, then doesn't that automatically follow that HE must have been at fault in his strategy, in his positioning, in his coaching? And if he got it so wrong, then why pay him anything?

My second observation is that the moment he was told he could stay on as God of England, he said he was going to get rid of a lot of players from the team. Now you have to remember that HE PICKED these players, they played well according to him, but now he is sacking them. This clown really does not know what he is doing. Again I ask, who signed the multimillion pound contract?

I agree with EVERYONE that I have talked to about another basic principle. The English team should be made up of English players with an English coach and an English manager. National teams should be COMPLETELY made up of Nationals.

One more thing, I really think it is a downer when an important international, or national, match is decided by a penalty shoot out. A team that has hung on by the skin of its teeth can win the trophy by getting a player getting lucky at the end. Truly weird. I think I have a much better offering.

In a boxing match, where referees sit around the ring counting solid blows and if there is no knockout, the winner is decided by who gave the most of them, a decision on points earned. Why not do the same with a football match? Refs sit around the ground counting the number of solid shots at the goal? Perhaps then teams would always try to be on the attack and get rid of all that ponsy passing around when they feel they are ahead, wasting time. They would HAVE to keep trying to score, much more exciting.

Final point... footballers should have to go to tennis training because footballers are nowhere near as fit or as fast as the lads we see playing tennis.

I'm outta here.

p.s. Any truth in the rumour I am spreading that footballers are going to be used in the Olympic diving teams?

Bits and Bobs

2010-06-24T11:20:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow it will be Friday, again, so that means we will have been back a week. For me that has been a week of erratic sleep hours, crashing out completely at about 9p.m. and waking up at anywhere between 1230 and 0300 in the night. I have tried to force myself to stay in bed and so on, have meals at UK times... nothing worked and I am just getting over it, sort of.

A few readers have got in touch and told me that they can't leave comments on here. Most likely that is because they have not registered and been accepted on this site.

The world, of course, is once again completely out of touch with me as they all go nuts over that game where not very fit men kick a ball up and down a grass field for lots of money. I have tried to watch. I am English. I feel I should watch BUT there is SO little imagination in this game I find it SO boring. Yesterday whilst having a cuppa I switched on to see a man called Rooney miss a wide open goal and later get sent off to have a rest. None of these footballers have anywhere near the fitness, stamina, reaction speed of a pro tennis player, and that has been more than proved this week.

Maybe we should send the football team off for tennis training?

Then the commentators were absolutely raving about England winning 1-0. As far as I could see they only managed to struggle one ball into the net of a team from the Methodist Youth Club of a place called Slovenia. I can't imagine Germany are quaking in their boots.

What else? Why doesn't wee Andy Murray take some elocution lessons to project his voice upwards from that miserable muttering? I listen and grow more and more convinced he is Gordon Brown's love child.

As for Gordon, where has he gone? I suspect that all along he has known where Osama Bin Laden lives, and has moved in with him...

Have fun.

AND....

2010-06-16T16:52:00.000-07:00

I know that I have a good friend who reads these blogs. I can hear him now... 'He left me out!'...

So, now I have his undivided attention can Debbie and I say what a pleasure it was to see Pete Biro in his silly hat at the airport to greet us when we got into LAX. He then did something far beyond the call of duty... he drove us from the airport on a day when the freeway was completely blocked and kept us entertained for two hours getting us to the hotel.

Not only that, we visited his home, met up with his family again and Linda and the boys made us both so very welcome whilst Pete pretended he had made the dinner. We pretended we believed him.

Peter and Linda are special. Thank you for being our friends.

The Invisible Mrs Obama

2010-06-16T16:28:00.000-07:00

We are coming to the end of our time in Los Angeles. As always I get that strange mixture of wanting to go home but wanting to stay. I love it here so much and could most likely make a living BUT my Mother, my grandchildren, my lads.....you know what I mean.

Because various negotiations fell through we were lucky to have more days of freedom than we expected. The hotel is very good and the staff very friendly. Even the President's wife is staying here so we are VERY secure with FBI and SWAT teams surrounding the place. When Debbie through open the curtains this morning she swiftly closed them again when she found surveillance teams were on the roof opposite. We haven't seen Mrs Obama and I am not surprised. Who would want to live a life surrounded by all that stuff?

I did do the show in the Magic Castle and they seemed to like it. The show I did later, ad libbing in the pool area of the hotel was better I thought. I had guys yelling in amazement. Great fun.

The next night we nipped into the Castle to see Quentin Reynolds and we managed to catch the back end of his show. Normally resident in Manchester, this charming Irishman travels the world doing his thing. I can recommend him whole heartedly.

A lot of our time has been spent wandering along the streets and malls here. I know that sounds strange for us, but stuff here is so different and the range of goods is startling. Somehow we managed to hit on a day when Santa Monica was overcast so we went to see Shrek 4 in 3D. Yes, we wore the glasses and yes, the effect is brilliant. The problem is that it is only brilliant for about 10 to 15 minutes, the novelty wears off and you are back to whether the film is any good or not. Thankfully it is really funny and entertaining.... but why do I need the glasses? It would have been a good film anyway.

Today we drove out to the workshop of the great illusion maker, John Gaughan. His site is being rebuilt at http://johngaughan.com/. For me this was the highlight of the trip, not only to see the shop at work but also to see one of the most amazing antique magic collections in the world. Stunning!

We had lunch with John and Gay Blackstone, widow of the late great Harry Blackstone and a good time was had by all.

This evening we will finish packing, go out for our last dinner, and then off home tomorrow.

A great working holiday comes to an end.

See you in Blighty.

Hurray for Hollywood

2010-06-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

Yes folks, we are in California enjoying the sunshine and driving around absorbing the wonderful house designs, wide open streets, the advertising and salesmanship that leaps out at you from every direction.

America is fun. We love it. As I write this, however, I am well aware that I have to do a show tonight and my brain has been spinning whilst working out what to do. I did have most of it worked out of course but the most important part of any show happens in the first few seconds, and many of the audience will not be aware of my style of working, so I have to work on those moments in my head, figuring out the right words and the right rhythm that will get them on my side straight away.

The second most important part of the show is the 'closer', the final effect, and there I have do have a completely different kind of problem. For 45 years I have closed my show with a really good mystery that I developed all those years ago, a vanished piece of paper money turns up inside a walnut that was inside an egg that was inside a lemon. The walnut, egg and lemon routine has always been a real baffler and wraps the show up nicely.

A couple of weeks ago, on the David Letterman show, a magician called Steve Cohen did a trick whereby a ring finished up inside a walnut that was inside an egg that was inside a lemon. As a long time TV magic performer, I have to say that I think it could have been done better for the cameras, and I don't mean to sound bitchy, I mean that as an honest comment.

He bought the routine from another guy and it turns out I had that guy on stage one time when I was working over here, but he can't remember me doing the trick. Well, maybe. Sometimes we all suffer from selective memory lapses.

I watched it last night (thank you YouTube) and although the method is different, to an audience the EFFECT is all they know about and tonight I may well suffer from 'he ripped this off Cohen'. So I will have to come up with a solution to that in my presentation.

Hey ho. May I say in these words a BIG thank you to Pete Biro, who picked us up from the airport when he didn't have to, and to his wife Linda, who with Pete entertained us in their home and fed us royally last night. Aren't friends wonderful?

Ending on a sad note, we lost a good friend this week when Bobby, our friend Pippa's husband passed away after years of suffering from various cancers. He was one of the good guys.

Take care of yourselves.

Paul

The Antipodes

2010-06-05T22:10:00.001-07:00

We spent a long day doing nothing and then had to say 'goodbye' to Hong Kong. I wonder if I will ever see it again? The infrastructure is now amazing and it took no time at all to get to the airport where we did the usual check in and waiting waiting waiting.

Air New Zealand were very nice to us and the seat/beds were comfy. The food seemed to be Chinese based and wasn't really too my taste. Once again I read two books during the flight and pondered upon why I don't sleep.

Years ago a product came out in America whilst we were there called 'Nitol'. It was supposed to be a sleep aid. I bought some and took one about half an hour before I got on the plane and another when I got aboard.

I zonked out just about instantly and went into a deep deep sleep. There were no after effects at all and I woke up sparky bright. I asked Debbie if we had far to go and she told me we hadn't taken off yet, and we hadn't. I thought I had been asleep for hours and I was wide awake for the rest of the flight.

We landed in New Zealand early in the morning and there was the most hospitable man on the planet, Alan Watson, waiting to take us to his home where we were to stay for a couple of nights. He also ferried us around shops to pick up bits and bobs for my lectures and shows. We went to the Junior Magicians club and enjoyed a good night in their company together with a couple of American visitors including Steve Valentine the actor.

It's winter here but warmer than UK winters on the North Island. We have enjoyed a couple of sunny days but I think it has rained non stop since the convention started.

Day One I was on my feet 6 hours during the day doing a Master Class and then another hour at night doing a spot in their really well appointed theatre.

Day Two I only had to do the one hour spot at night but magic conventions are the places where nobody seems to sleep.

During the second show I experienced the recurring nightmare that all actors and performers get, the one where you can't get into the theatre to do your show...

The first half had started and I realised that during the day someone had used my dressing room and a prop was missing. I had a spare but it was back in the hotel room. The theatre was built onto the side of the hotel but there was no way from backstage to the front of house. I went up some stairs and found a door that led to the outside world. I went out, onto the lawn, found a path, went up the path to a door but it was locked. I found another couple of doors like that and eventually worked my way round the building to a door that was open.

I went up the lift to the top floor and then along the long corridor to our room. The electronic key did not work and there were no phones on the walls so I went all the way back down to reception and got another key. Aware that time was ticking by, I went back up the room and hunted through the bags for the spare prop. I found that and headed back the way I had come. I found the door BUT it was now pouring down with rain so I couldn't get backstage.

I went to the back of the auditorium and waited until a man took his child to the toilets and when they came back I walked down the aisle with them before diving off through a pass door that got me backstage again. Phew.

Today, Sunday, we have done nothing. There will be a formal banquet this evening. This afternoon we took pot luck on watching an in house movie and I am SO glad we did. If you can, watch this movie in a cinema, if not get a DVD. Quentin Tarrentino's Inglourious Basterds is one of the best, if not the best, directed films I have ever seen.

Tomorrow I will be doing a Q and A session before heading back to Alan's house.

Catch you later.

Hong Kong

2010-05-29T03:44:00.000-07:00

Debbie and I have been here now for about a week and I have had emails and tweets asking me why and so on. It's simple. I was supposed to do a public show and a lecture and a Master class, all magic of course, but the business side of it, all set up with a promoter, fell through. That's show biz, but we decided to come anyway and have a mooch around.

Although the weather has not been great we have been so very lucky and only got caught a little in one shower.

I promise that one day I will find time to edit and post some photos, but at the moment we don't waste a minute of our time here. We have walked SO far and...

Had fabulous food

Visited the Flower Market

Visited the Bird Market

Visited all the posh shops on Kowloon side

Been on the Star Ferry (ah, the memories) to Hong Kong Island...

We did the last one today and took a ferry from next to our hotel to the Wanchai District Ferry Station. Then we walked and walked but it simply got more and more wonderful.

Kowloon side, we felt, is much more touristy and very very pricey but Hong Kong island was much more as it was, although I missed ogling the girls in their cheung sams.

Debbie, knowing that my first girl friend was Chinese, kept a close watch on me, especially when when it became obvious that the girls were looking at me and thinking.....'Oooooh.... if only he was older.....'

We had a lunch on the balcony of the Pawn bar and restaurant.... (you can get bangers and mash, I had Heinz beans on toast). How adventurous was that????!!!!

Then we got on one of the hundreds of trams that ply their trade along the length of what is now a main road but used to be the waterfront. These run on tracks so they know exactly where they are going and don't bump into lamp posts, for example, and have an overhead pick up from a single cable.

London really should have these to get rid of that pollution in Oxford Street. These are MUCH cheaper to run anyway. I can remember that when I was here the fare was 10cents and even now it only cost 20pUK and you just get on and off anywhere or go for the full run. Every trip 20p.

That trip really brought the memories flooding back and I loved it.

Soon we will be leaving though... and I must start saving up to come back.

It's all Chinese to me...

2010-05-25T00:48:00.000-07:00

Well now, this took a bit of sorting out this time because Debbie and I are in Hong Kong. When I went to add a new post to this blog the screen all changed to Chinese. Eventually I found a 'translate' button and then it got worse; I couldn't understand the English.

I love Hong Kong. I can't believe it is over 50 years since I was stationed here as a soldier in the Green Howards Regiment. SO much has changed in terms of architecture, road infrastructure, life style and yet I still see people sweeping the streets with old fashioned brooms. Sad to see that the thousands of small junks and sampans have gone and only a few ply their trade now.

Lovely to see they still use bamboo scaffolding.

The other major change is seeing how this Far Eastern gem has now become part of the Global Greed Economy. Prices were low here, and yet obviously the sellers were making a profit. Bearing that in mind you are forced to believe that other countries who charged more were making bigger profits so I guess landlords thought they could charge more rent. Then someone in Hong Kong thought that if people paid those prices over there, they could pay the same here and now Hong Kong is the same as any other big city... far too overpriced. All the top labels are here and I simply can't see how you can justify £420 for a pair of jeans.

Debbie found some nice material in a dress shop... it was over £600 per yard. I notice so many people using SLR cameras, all top makes, with zoom lenses on the front end that must put the price upwards of £1,500. I found that so strange because the vast vast majority of them will never print anything about 7" x 5", if they print them at all. Any of the compacts will turn out a more than adequate picture.

We have walked so far since we have been here but despite that, can't go to sleep at night because of the time difference. I have now read four books, mostly during the night. My eyelids are drooping but there is so much to see here.

Tonight Debbie wants to go to a night market, more walking, and hopefully that open air experience as opposed to the freezing air conditioned malls will do the job and we will enter the Land of Nod.

Have fun

The Panic Sets In...

2010-05-17T02:48:00.000-07:00

Well, perhaps the title is a slight exaggeration but in a few days I am off to do shows and lectures in Hong Kong, New Zealand and Los Angeles. It seemed like a good idea months ago, but now....

I guess that I should spend a happy couple of hours packing tricks into travelling trunks to cover more or less every every eventuality, and I know I will still be doing that right up to the moment we leave. Then there is all the electronic stuff I take, two computers, video camera, still camera, multiplugs, cables...

I mustn't forget Debbie...

Her department in all this is the clothing and little things like passports, tickets, where we are staying and all that jazz.

The worry at the moment is that I asked the organisers of the Master Classes that I am giving to ask their customers who had registered what they wanted me to talk about, get answered, learn about and so on. So far not one question! As I am going to be on my feet for several hours I hope somebody comes up with something.

I have been to all three places before and I am looking forward to seeing them again. It will also be good to see all the friends we have over there too.

On this trip, having suffered the rip off prices I was charged for telephone usage in Barbados last time, Skype is already loaded up and tested. I really do think that it is time that the various governments took a look at what phone companies are charging. Now that calls are digital and travelling via computers, surely it costs no more to call New Zealand than it does to call my next village? Even if it does cost more, the infrastructure MUST be cheap to run because why else would all the major companies have us calling India with our queries?

When I'm king......